Red Red Wine

vectorstock_3652720

What is it with Moms and wine?  I’ve always enjoyed wine.  But since I’ve become a Mom, me and wine are kind of tight.  We used to buy a bottle here and there for when we had dinner parties or a special occasion.  Maybe we’d treat ourselves in a restaurant.  But now, I have a rack in the basement.  Well, actually we have (ahem) two racks.  I keep bottles of sauvignon blanc in the fridge; one open and one ready to open.  We have nice bottles we save for that aforementioned special occasion but now we keep “everyday wine” in the house.  Do we have a problem?  And what is the correlation with the arrival of our kids on the scene?

Lets think about this.  We all know that Moms + Wine is a thing.  Its a running gag.  A joke.  Moms like wine.  Moms need wine to cope.  I don’t think that I need wine more now that I’ve had kids (well, maybe a little more….) but I can say that I like it more.  Did this love affair kick in when my kids were born and I was nursing so I couldn’t very well jump right back into scotch on the rocks territory?  Was that it?  Its like booze light.  You’re practically encouraged to indulge in a glass of wine or two while you’re breastfeeding.

There is always the intimation that Moms need wine to cope with all the sh*t (figuratively AND literally) that their kids throw at them.  I wouldn’t say that I need wine to dull the senses from kid-related trauma as much as it is a nice treat at the end of a long day of wearing so many hats and juggling so many people that need your undivided attention.  Its like going for a pedicure, except for the fact that you enjoy it sitting at your kitchen table and no one will rub your feet.

I’ve grown so accustomed to that lovely glass of wine at the end of a long day that on a recent business trip in NYC very late one night, I was ready for a glass of wine.  The hotel we were at was under receivership or up for sale or some other such nonsense and the hotel bar was closed.  I found myself in a greasy pizza take out joint in the Village and lo and behold in the cooler next to the diet coke were tiny little bottles of the sh*ttiest pinot grigio one could find.  I squealed when I saw it!  I took a little mini-bottle to the cashier along with my contraband full gluten/ all dairy/ full grease NYC cheese pizza 1am dinner only to be completely denied!

“Sorry Ma’am” (ugh, now I’m really in Mom territory), “But I can’t let you take this wine out of here.  You have to drink it now.”

So that was then I had to face the facts.  How much has this wine indulgence of mine actually become a problem?  Did I need my “pedicure” so bad after a long day that I was willing to chug-a-lug a crap mini-bottle of PG in front of 3 dudes in the middle of a greasy Greenwich Village pizza joint?

“Um. No thanks.”  I said as I tromped out with my slice.

I got back to the hotel hoping and praying the bar was miraculously open.  No luck.  Now I’m sure you’re all thinking, “But you’re in NYC.  The City that Never Sleeps?  C’mon R&R Mom hit a bar!”  But I’m a girl.  Alone.  On the road.  Who’s over 40.  And Married.  And a total scaredy cat.  So I went back to my room and double bolted the door.  I opened the minibar.  No dice.  The whole receivership/ sale drama caused the grand full hotel mini-bar clean out earlier that day.  I needed my fix.  It was late.  I had jetlag.  It was a long rough day.  I wanted ONE glass of wine.  Is that so wrong????

Just then I turned to see there on the desk, a pile of room service plates with their nifty silver covers.  Huh.  I wasn’t in all day.  Who ordered these?  Stinky cheese, warm fruit and stale crackers.  But there, right beside it stood the most beautiful bottle of mediocre chianti that I have ever seen.  Well, being the Canadian that I am I immediately picked up the phone and called the reception:

“I’m sorry. (we Canadians ALWAYS say that) But it seems someone has mistakenly delivered some room service to my room.  Some stinky cheese and warm fruit.  But there’s also a full UNOPENED bottle of wine.” I said.

“Was there a note?” said the somewhat irritated front desk worker.

“Uhhh, no.”

“Then I guess its complimentary.”

Huh, well I guess it was the WINE FAIRY!!!!!!  Thank YOU beloved WINE FAIRY!!!!  You heard my plea and took pity on this old bag and her addiction.  I cracked that bottle, poured a solid 4 fingers, drank half and fell fast asleep.

And that my friends is just one more story of Moms and their relationship with wine.

The Holiday Buffet

vectorstock_1422154Dear Holiday Buffet:

How do I love thee?  Let me count the ways.  Your oozy cheeses and tantalizing dips.  Your crispy crackers and comforting confections.  On olives, antipasto and bread.  On charcuterie, cookies and cake.  Yes chocolate in all shapes and sizes; truffles, barks and caramels.   The small little morsels so easy to enjoy and the forgetfulness that comes with alcohol so you lose track of just how many calories have been consumed.  Yes, I love you Holiday Buffet.  And passed hors d’oeurves.  You too sweets tables.

The open houses.  What a concept!  Stop by for a visit.  Eat and drink.  Carry on to the next and repeat.  I love this time of the year.  Why on Saturday alone we had 3 parties in succession all within 10 metres from our house.  On Sunday I should have done a fast or a cleanse or something, but instead I spent it in bed nursing a hangover.

So for the next two weeks it will be stretchy jeans, baggy sweaters and antacids for me.  Just so I can indulge in my true love.  Food.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good meal,

The R&R Mom

 

My Vancouver

IMG_8412

I remember the sunny July day in 1998 when I arrived in Vancouver for what I thought was a two year commitment.  Transferred out of our Toronto office, I planned to give the West Coast a try for a few years.  Fifteen years later -Vancouver is home.

Like almost everyone else in this town, I wasn’t born here.  A city full of transplants, Vancouver is a fishing village.  The city itself plays host to a mere 600,000 odd citizens (it’s the surrounding communities and suburbs that push us up over the 2.5 million mark) all settled into just 115 square kilometres.  All the action circles out from the downtown core playing host to the surrounding area so the city seems so much busier and populated than it actually is.  Truth is, after living here for so long you realize what a small little world it is and I love it.

I love that I can do my job here – far away from the entertainment industry centres.  Sure, I have to travel more – but when I’m home I’m not obligated to all sorts of business functions etc.

I love that Vancouver has grown out of the awkward teenage phase it was in when I arrived in 1998.  Like Justin Bieber, the city was still resting on it’s own version of “Baby” – Expo 86.  Pimply faced and waiting for its voice to change Vancouver starting to come into its own.  Now its the sophisticated Adele of cities.  Like “Rolling in the Deep” Vancouver welcomed the 2010 Winter Olympics and literally conquered the world stage.

We cheered from the sidelines for the athletes, sure.  But we cheered the loudest for our city.  It was a shaky start, we worried if we could handle all the attention.  The weather was just as apprehensive.  The warmest, driest season in recent memory made the mountains more of a hiker’s paradise rather than a skiier’s dream.  News channels covered us with great relish.  “They have to helicopter in snow to cover the slopes!”

Day 1 was simply tragic as the luge track took a life and the Opening Ceremonies took a sombre tone.

But then something happened.  The sun came out and shone on our fair city.  The temperatures rose and the people came out in droves.  We became obsessed with the games, with the spotlight and we liked it.  We liked to show off our fair climate in mid-February.  Our beautiful mountains and glistening ocean.  The people of Vancouver became true hosts and rose to the occasion.  It was a magical experience.

Since then Vancouver is a changed place.  Out of its adolescence, Vancouver is a sexy and sophisticated twenty-something ready to accept its place among the old guard of cool places – Rio, Sydney, Cape Town.  Vancouver was rubbing shoulders with these cities and could maybe even give them a run for their money.

And it ain’t over yet, I can’t wait to see what happens when she’s a confident thirty-something!

My favorite Vancouver places:

EAT

Tavola

Hands down my favorite restaurant in Vancouver.  Located on the far west end of Robson St in a residential area, Tavola is nestled into a cozy neighborhood thats literally steps away from the action.  Close enough to feel the energy but far enough to not have it overwhelm.  This casual yet cool place serves some of the best food I have EVER eaten.  Delicious, gooey Burrata cheese (flown in from the Napa Valley) paired with fresh daily antipasto.  Homemade pasta fresh sheet that changes regularly (don’t worry – the incredibly simple yet wholly scrumptious Tonnarelli Cacio e Pepe remains on the menu daily).  Not to mention the crispy brick chicken, rib steak for a crowd and the desserts made in house, Tavola is Italian comfort at its best.  A great wine list covers all the bases!  The service is second to none.

Heirloom

Typically west coast, Vancouver boasts its share of vegetarian fare and most of it excellent.  But Heirloom is on a whole other level.  Located at the corner of 12th and Granville in one of the cities few heritage buildings, Heirloom creates a light, airy space with a whitewash and high ceilings.  A great spot for brunch, the menu offers options for all variations of restrictive diets – vegetarian, vegan, raw, gluten free.  I myself literally giggled like a school girl while digging into the raw, gluten free, vegan pecan brownie with avocado frosting.  Holy smokes!

Nuba

This small chain of very sexy Lebanese restaurants across the city offers a feast for the senses.  Delicious platters filled with falafel and creamy hummus, crispy salads and crunchy fried cauliflower all satisfy!

East is East

For organic Afghan/ Indian delicacies and an ambience that won’t quit, East is East on South Main is a favorite.  We love their roti wraps (and had to institute a moratorium as we were visiting the easy access take-out window at least once a week).

The Teahouse in Stanley Park

If you’re looking for a room with a view, The Teahouse is second to none.  A fantastic perch above English Bay, nestled into Stanley Park offers a 180 degree view of the ships waiting to enter the Harbor and the perfect vantage point for a west coast sunset.  The food is good and the kids menu is a godsend!

NIGHTLIFE

Truth is, since we had the Shorties our nightlife is a little limited – but we do have our favorite places to hang out when we can organize a babysitter.

The Commodore Ballroom

One of the premier ballroom level concert venues in North America, The Commodore has been lovingly restored to its original glory and hosts some of the best touring artists coming through town.  The dance floor is still sprung (rumor has it with old tires and horsehair) so find a spot in the middle during a sell out show and take a ride!

Guilt & Co.

Located in the heart of Gastown, this downstairs bar is a great place for a martini.  Live music from local artists entertains and the unisex bathroom offers a one-way window out to the club so you can spy on your friends.  Haha!

The Electric Owl

I’ve spent a lot of time in grungy nightclubs watching bands.  The Electric Owl on Main is a the exact opposite.  Most bars consider sightlines to the stage as merely an afterthought – here sightlines are paramount as the room is perfectly arranged widthwise for maximum viewing (and listening).

The Keefer Hotel

If its simply cocktails you’re after, then this is the place.  Set in the fringes of Chinatown, the Keefer Hotel offers a great patio and a drinks menu that will blow your mind.  The inventive recipes and vintage glassware are super fun!

SHOP

For many, shopping in Vancouver is fantastic.  Robson Street is the perfect High Street model, flashing wares from all the top fashion chains (Zara, BCBG, Banana Republic).  But I really prefer the charm of the small independent boutiques that are found along South Main and Gastown.  4th Ave in Kits and South Granville are also a great destinations.

THINGS TO DO

Sunny Summer Day

Head to any one of the beaches around English Bay and soak up some rays.

Rainy Day

Vancouver Aquarium or Science World are great places to visit when the weather is the pits (like most of the time).  All ages will appreciate the great galleries at both!  Or head to the spa – I love Miraj Hammam on a cold, rainy day where you can escape to the warm sauna and get a massage.  Skoah is a Vancouver based operation that gives great facials!

Winter Day

GO SKIING.  Get up to one of the local mountains (we prefer Cypress) and play in the snow.  The Alpine and Nordic options on all 3 local mountains offer activities for everyone (Downhill & Cross Country Skiing, Snowshoeing at all levels, Tobogganing and Tubing).

WHERE TO STAY

I don’t usually stay in hotels when I’m at home.  But here are a few that I hear are pretty good:

The Fairmont Pacific Rim

Located across from the new Convention Centre and just blocks from Robson, the brand new Pacific Rim is a glittering addition to the Vancouver skyline.  The room decor is very cool and functional and the outdoor pool with cabanas and fireplaces looks pretty bad ass.  The lobby bar offers a great scene and good cocktails.

The Wedgewood

One of the original boutique hotels in the city, the Wedgewood also has one of the best bars in the city.  Bacchus Lounge is a great place for a date or a quiet drink.  The rooms are charming and the location just off the Robson strip can’t be beat.

Vancouver is a hell of a town.  You should check it out!

Hustle Bustle Blah

Even the big man is pressed for time...

Even the big man is pressed for time…

Fa-la-la-la-la… its that time of the year again when the pressure is on to take supermom status to a whole new level.  There’s gift buying/wrapping/ delivering, baking, card writing, greeting sending, party going, pageant attending, house decorating, charity giving and general mass organization.  I am the self-appointed project manager of Christmas in our house.

I love Christmas.  Always have.  You’ll never hear a humbug out of me.  Twinkling lights, Bing Crosby, Chestnuts – I love it!  Okay maybe not the chestnuts.  (Have you ever tried roasted chestnuts?  Um euw.)  But it is a lot of work when already juggling momhood with my day job.  So this year I’m trying to go easy on myself and online shopping has become my new best friend.  No more running around the crowded mall, sweating profusely and hoping you’ll find that EXACT thing in the right colour and size.  Hello online shops, you freaking rule.  I just ordered gifts, had them wrapped and delivered from the comfort of my couch.  Does it feel like cheating?  Absolutely.  Am I going to keep doing it?  I’d be stupid not too.  Its all about time management you see and if I did all of that on foot it would take the better part of an afternoon.

And how about those pesky teacher’s gifts.  I mean, poor teach, you probably have a pile of stinky lotions and travel mugs in your desk drawer of Christmas past.  Right?  How many boxes of chocolates can one poor teacher endure.  This year, they are getting a gift in name from Unicef – Survival Gifts to community schools in need.  I figure that may be appreciated more in lieu of yet another Starbuck’s giftcard?

Its the same with the cookie situation.  For years I spent a whole December Saturday baking.  And we all know how awesome I am at that!  Not this year my friends.  Not only am I so far off the wheat and gluten train that I won’t even enjoy the little goodies, I am so bad at making them I’ll save my family the grief.  Oh yes, it will be store bought this year.  Just enough for the big day so we’re not laden with too many treats for the whole season.

This year, I will pour my extra energy in hosting whoever wants to come by for some holiday laughs, creating memories instead of adding to the pile of stuff.  So if you’re in the neighborhood, stop by.  Just don’t expect any cookies or a beautifully wrapped gift.

D-BAD: Grocery Store People

D-BAD aka DON’T BE A DOUCHE.  Each week I get to call out someone/ someplace or something for being a total DOUCHEBAG.  Its when I get to vent and take out my frustration on whatever makes me nuts each week, are you in?  Feel free to share your D-BAD’S anytime!

Dear Grocery Store People:

This is all pretty simple.  Every week we get together, always at your place.  I bring piles of cash that I give to you in exchange for a lot of stuff.  I ask for very little in return except for just a couple very small obvious things…

1. Please don’t sell me food that is rotten.  Sure, it could be like a party game – did I get the lucky box of strawberries that’s all moldy in the centre?  I mean sometimes this happens and you don’t even know.  But when you have to forensically inspect every lick of produce before its in the cart, we kind of have a problem.

2. Hand sanitizer.  Please put it EVERYWHERE.   At the very least keep it around the raw meat – but everywhere would be preferred.  I mean, there is nothing more repulsive than picking up a pack of chicken dripping with bloody chicken juice.  I know I’m a germaphobe – but I am pretty sure I’m not alone in this.

That’s it.  That’s all I ask.  So listen Grocery Store People.  Get your shit together and DON’T BE A DOUCHE.

Love,

The R&R Mom

Head of Purchasing

The back part of my brain is responsible for the grocery list, the front part is for composing witty correspondence and the top part is for remembering where I left my phone.

The back part of my brain is responsible for the food inventory and grocery list, the front part is for composing witty correspondence and the top part is for remembering where I left my phone.

Yep, that’s me.  Chief in charge of acquisitions.  Its almost a full time job.  Seriously, this chore in my daily life takes almost as much brain power as my real job.  Keeping a ready inventory of all the dry goods, perishables, produce, socks and undies in this household is a never ending task.  The question “what’s for dinner” is followed by a beep beep boop and the whirring sounds of my brain as I open the file “what’s in the fridge” followed quickly by “what’s in the freezer”.  Once inventory is complete we can assess what sort of a meal we can put together without a trip to the grocery store.  Boxed mac & cheese with a side of steamed zucchini followed by a stale crackers and peanut butter.  Excellent – I’ll be back in 30 minutes.

Its ensuring enough food in the house to get all 4 of us through at least the next 24-48 hours.  Plenty of healthy and organic options too if you don’t mind.  Oh and have I told you yet – remember how last week I LOVED orange juice?  How orange juice was my jam?  How I was plowing through a liter of orange juice like it was crack and you couldn’t keep enough of it in the house to try and sate my UNDYING THIRST FOR ORANGE JUICE?  Yeah, well now I think its gross.

I mean, really.  How are we supposed to keep up with all the whimsy and ever changing appetites?

Groceries are a neverending task.  You see, you can’t just go to one store, stock up and be set for the next 7 days.  Oh no.  The super massive supermarket that should clearly be a one-stop shop, well it doesn’t carry the brand of gluten free crackers we like.  Or diapers, yeah they have them, but they are precisely $2.00 a pack MORE EXPENSIVE than the other stores.  But the one-stop super massive supermarket offers roughly 80% of what we need – until, you know, they completely run out of ketchup or some other vitally crucial pantry item we cannot live with out.  Not to mention that their produce is complete shit anyways.  So we spend an hour there getting the aforementioned 80% of stock.  Then off to the good produce place, which offers everything that is green that we could ever need.  But then, CRAP!  I forgot to buy cream cheese (which in our house is akin only to LIFEBLOOD) so over to the neighborhood grocery store where I remember we’re down to our last 1/2 cup of rice so I better get some of that too and oh look, canned soup is on sale.  Awesome done.  What?  Dental floss?  Are you f$%king kidding me?  We’re out of dental floss.  Off to the drugstore.  Wait, toothpaste.  Better get some now while I’m here.  And laundry detergent, that was getting low too.  The thing is that two days later, we’ll need hamburger buns and asparagus so I know I’ll be making the rounds again in just a matter of hours.

But its not just the groceries and consumables that fall under my portfolio of purchasing responsibilities.  Its things like undies.  Kids BLAZE through these things.  Not only do they grow out of them at a record pace “Mom, these gaunch are too tight!”  But they tend to disappear (Remember that accident in the restaurant?  We sacrificed two pairs of Minnie Mouse panties to the poop gods that night).  All of a sudden, Shorty #2’s down to two pairs.  And then, #1 seems to have shot up 3 inches overnight and all her pants are floods and every skirt is DefCon Kardashian levels of short.  Back to the aforementioned super massive supermarket that also remarkably sells clothes to stock up.

This is a constant battle of the inevitable in a family striving to consume less and be more environmentally conscious.  Yeah, we’re doing a shitty job.  But what do we do?  Maybe I should just buy more coffee – that would curb appetites and stunt their growth.

 

 

Bad Choices?

Psst, hey.  Heeeeyyy, can I tell you a secret?  When I go on holidays I like to cheat.  Do you?  I bet you do.  And I bet you LOVE it too.  Sure, you feel shame afterwards and manage to return home with a great deal of self-loathing, squashing the desire to do it again.  Do you save it only for when you are away?

I tried to stop it once.  I planned and planned for it.  I was successful for one whole trip.  But then the next time I left town it happened again, and I realized I was an addict.

To chocolate.  To chips.  To ice cream.  To cheese.  To (duh duh duh) GLUTEN.

Oh, is that not what you were thinking?  I know you do it too though.

This is how it starts…

Day #1 – After Dinner.  Ok, I’m on vacation and I deserve a treat.  I can have an ice cream cone with the kids.  I mean, its only right.  This way I’ll be part of the fun, the memories we’re building with the kids.  Sure, its just a little Salted Caramel ice cream in a waffle cone.  Its fine.  We walked to the ice cream shop, so its like it practically never happened.

Day #2 – Lunch.  I can totally have a coke with my lunch.  Its ok I’m on holiday and it will just be this once.

And then…

Day #2 – Snack.  These chips look so good.  I’ll just have one.  Oooooh but they are so good, just a few more.  Well, the kids shouldn’t eat the WHOLE bag themselves.  I should help them.

Day #2 – After Dinner.  I know I had 3 glasses of wine with dinner, so I shouldn’t have dessert.  The wine is my dessert.  But its creme brulee.  And that’s gluten free so I am practically staying on plan with that (even though it is entirely comprised of dairy AND sugar).

By now, what can you do?  You are in!

Day #3 – After Dinner.  Oh, are we walking to the ice cream shop again?

Day #4 – Lunch.  If I say no bun and order a turkey burger, that’s ok right?  Then I can totally ALLOW myself 1 (or 5) of those amazing onion rings.

Day #5 – Breakfast.  TODAY I am getting back on my plan.  The egg scramble with roasted veggies is super on plan.  The spinach and coconut water smoothie was exactly what I needed.

Day #5 – After Dinner.  What?  Did we just pass the ice cream place?  Oh did you guys want to stop there again?  Alright.  Ok.  I had that spinach smoothie today, so I deserve it.

And so on and so on.

Now we’re home and I’m in detox.  Except for the leftover bag of chips from the car ride.  I mean it would be a waste to NOT finish them, right?  Owwww, my tummy hurts…

I totally can't eat just one.

I totally can’t eat just one.

Eat to the Beat

I’m getting ready to head back on the road again this weekend and all I can think about is the great food I get to eat along the way.  Not the kind on the airplane or in the airport – but that I get to go back to some of the cities where I experienced some of the greatest meals of MY LIFE.  By now, you know I’m super bossy and know-it-all-y so it’s 100% in my nature to tell you that you should eat there too.

Geezus I love to eat!

Geezus I love to eat!

10. Bogner’s – Penticton, BC – BC wine country is slowly coming into its own and the foodies are following.  Chef Darin Paterson takes the concept of the 100 mile diet to a whole new level.  In addition to his kitchen garden surrounding the restaurant’s patio, Paterson pulls local produce from his own farm just 5 minutes out of town.  The fact that my kid had a “little accident” on the patio may sway me from returning next time, but fresh garden salsa might drag me back regardless.

9.  Patria – Toronto – True Spanish tapas in the heart of Toronto.  Loud, boisterous and super sexy.  Start with the Iberico ham.  A tough find on this side of the pond.  The paella is amazing.

8. Guy Savoy – Paris – Michelin mania.  Guy Savoy is a dining experience.  I’m usually not a fan of the pretentious Michelin presentation but man is his food good.  I’ve raved about Guy Savoy before.  Dessert comes on a cart – a motherf&*king cart FULL of desserts.  The first time I went there I ate 13 different desserts (lavender marshmallows, earl grey ice cream, macarons, strawberry tart, rice pudding – UNREAL).

7. Milos – New York – Fresh seafood in midtown Manhattan.  Big energy, delicious fresh food – great combo.  Don’t miss the Milos Special – lightly battered and fried zucchini and eggplant.  Yum.  That dish always tastes like MORE.

6. Alex Sushi – Oslo – Coming from Vancouver, the Sushi capitol of the world (outside Japan of course), I am always hesitant to eat sushi in other cities.  But Alex Sushi in Oslo nailed it.  The Tempura Salad was a revelation.  Plus the minimalist Scandinavian decor is very hip and happening.

5. A Travessa – Lisbon – Set down a narrow cobbled street with families grilling sardines and lanterns and streamers crisscrossing overhead, you enter an arched doorway to a sliding glass door that is about as odd as monkey’s wedding.  Down the stairs to a cavernous, candlelit room and into the rustic (is this the Portuguese version of Shabby Chic?) courtyard to dine under the stars.  The building was a former convent founded in the 17th century!  The complimentary appetizers (scrambled eggs with mushrooms, olives) and country style bread whet the palette along with cold white port served as an apperitif.  I had the Toro steak – the owner belittled me for ordering it medium.  “Its organic blood” he said!  It was magical!

4. Osteria Morini – New York – I’m not sure if this meal was so memorable because it was at the end of a super crazy press day or it was close enough to Christmas that it felt extra festive, but I loved this restaurant.  Its small and cozy by NYC standards and the fare is rustic Italian which is hands down my fave.  New York has arguably the best Italian food outside of Italy to be sure, but there was something extra special and authentic about the experience at Osteria Morini.  The weathered wood tables overflowing with mouthwatering cured meats and cheeses, the meatballs, the light and airy Lambrusco wine.  Call way ahead to make a reservation and if you can get a table TAKE IT!

3. Hutong – Hong Kong – Another great meal at the end of a super long, crazy press day.  I am pretty sure the food was as good as I remember.  Located on the 28th floor of One Peking Place in Tsim Sha Tsui neighborhood of Kowloon, overlooking Victoria Harbour.  The decor a sort of Disney-ified version of old Hong Kong about as authentic as you can get in a brand new skyscraper.  The Szechuan cuisine was just spicy enough!  Delish.

2. La Petite Maison – London, UK – On a recent stay in London we were there for just two nights and had dinner here both evenings.  ITS THAT GOOD!  Incredible South of France inspired food in the heart of Mayfair.  The only problem is deciding what to eat.  The menu has so many great and delicious options.  The grilled veal chop (sorry, I know) was amazing and they serve the best french fries I have ever eaten.  (French fries are my kryptonite, so trust me on this one).

1. Tavola – Vancouver, BC – I know, I know, it seems a little contrived to pick a place in my own home town as #1, but I seriously love Tavola so much.  Back to rustic Italian, done really well.  A super simple menu and fresh sheet keeps the experience familiar but never stale.  The service is amazing with casual waitstaff often sitting at the table to explain the intricacies of the menu and winelist.  The Tonnarelli Cacio e Pepe is the simplest pasta dish (fresh handmade noodles cooked in a delicate sauce comprised of just olive oil, parmesan and pepper) is worth every calorie.  The brick chicken is light and lemony and if you’re lucky to be there when Meyer Lemons are in season, you must try the Lemon Positano for dessert.  The menu is set up for sharing so this place is best visited with a crowd so you can taste a little of everything.

Holy Shit!

So, you may recall that we are deep into Potty Training time with Shorty #2.  We were on a roll, it was going great.  Until tonight.  Tonight we suffered… a set back.  A small set back.  Ok, it was more like one small setback and another, well, much larger set back.

You can picture it.  A lovely long weekend getaway.  A nice dinner in a sweet local restaurant.  Dappled sunshine reflecting off the crystal, jazz playing in the background, a nice wine ordered.  #2 fresh from a nap, a swim and a bath ready to face the evening as she had many times before.  The only difference this time is that she was diaperless.  All was going swimmingly until #2 had a little accident.  #2 had a #2.  No harm, no foul.  We swept her up into the restaurant loo for a quick clean up and wardrobe change and no one was the wiser.

The dinner carried on.  Lovely, delicious, delightful.  Everyone laughing and enjoying.  Our girls befriended the other little girls at the next table and they had fun playing tag on the patio and through the gardens.  All fine until #2 came running over to me with a look of horror in her eyes.  “Mama, I gotta poo.”  “Hold it!” I cried.  But it was too late.  Way too late.

This wasn’t just a poop accident.  This was like a “Night of the Living Dead” sort of explosion.  Poop everywhere.  J scooped her up to rush her into the bathroom, poop dropping everywhere.  I was like the “Cleaner” from Pulp Fiction – trying to erase all the evidence, the poop that had dropped out of #2’s skirt all over the patio floor, before any of the other diners had noticed.

cleaner

Yeah, they noticed.  By the time we all returned to the table with the now-fresh-as-a-daisy-thanks-to-the-WHOLE-pack-of-Huggies-wipes Shorty #2, all eyes were on us.  I tried to smile and keep up a brave face, but as the aforementioned kids from the other table were herded back to the side of their “single-child” parents with their judgy eyes pointed in our direction, I could hear the disdain in their eye-rolls;  “I would never let my kid poop in such a fine restaurant!” and “That will NEVER happen to me.”  I’m here to prove that this was one of those days where what I wanted, preferred or felt was the cool or OK was NOT in the cards.  I had no control in this situation and neither will you Judgy Judgersons!  It  was time to make a quick exit.  You just try and keep up a brave face in moments such as these.  “Yes, my kid just SHAT on your patio and we’ll have another bottle of that pinot noir.”   Needless to say, we tipped VERY well and hightailed it out of there.

Maybe next time we’ll just get a sitter…

I Am The Baker. Kookookachoo.

20140528-211400-76440768.jpg

It’s the annual spring carnival at Shorty #1’s school. We’re new to the school so we (this of course means I) would like to try and make a good impression by helping as much as we (I) can. So we’ve donated items for the silent auction, have volunteered for a shift in a booth and tonight made cupcakes for the bake sale.

It’s probably more accurate to say “attempted to make” as the results are somewhat lacking. I’m not 100% sure where it all went wrong. Was it because I hoped to make the cupcake baking an activity by enlisting the Shorties to help? Was it because we began the whole process at 7pm on a school night when J was out at a late business meeting so I was flying solo in the parenting department? Was it because I let les petites sample the chocolate before we started? Or was it because I tried to get fancy and try something new?

Ah yes, I created the perfect storm.

It all started ok. The batter was mixing nicely. #1 in charge if the cupcake cups going into the tray, #2 at the controls of the stand mixer. Everyone suitably satisfied with their role. But soon enough it was time to spoon the batter into the cups. #1 – the sole beneficiary of said bake sale in the household was taking the responsibility of ladling the batter. I was preoccupied with #1’s progress and completely missed #2 with the beater from the mixer in her mouth. When, I took it away she was clearly pissed. Cries of “No fair” rang out across the kitchen.

Finally the cupcakes made it into the oven. And this my friends is where the real folly took place. Personally I blame Martha Stewart, Nigella Lawson and all those other Food Network domestic goddess-types that get all fancy with things like cupcakes and make non-baking, non-culinarily inclined types like me feel pressured to try something fancy. Oh yes! Why not create a hybrid of two recipes – roasted marshmallows instead of icing! A revelation!!! These revolutionary cupcakes would be easy, charming and the hit. Until we actually tried to execute on my brilliant plan for bake sale domination.

20140528-213705-77825495.jpg

Now we are left with 18 (okay 17 – we HAD to try one) crappy looking hockey pucks of melted goo and drippy butterscotch sauce (the latter a last minute attempt at a save) and nothing remotely presentable for human consumption least of all to sell to strangers! Shorty #2’s reaction was to wipe out her mouth with a paper towel after she tried hers. Me – I’m battling a little nausea.

I think I need to accept my inner undomestic self. Baking is not my thing, least of all with 2 Shorties assisting. Next time I’ll know better and offer to do the selling instead of the baking. Or will I????