White Chalk????

Its the end of August and its mayhem.

The last week of my life has been a little hectic, to the say the least.  In addition to a busy time in the office its also back to school prep time.  Which means its also appointment booking time.  And its massive acquisition time.  We’re also about to fly across the country for 10 days for a cottage stay AND a family wedding (read: packing for 4 people for a trans-continental trip with the two main activities on the exact opposite end of the wardrobe spectrum).  Add to that my entrepreneurial husband’s move into a new office space and the fact that the floors in our 18 month year old house are about to be replaced.  ALL OF THEM.  Yeah, so if I told you that I enjoy a large-ish glass of wine after work today I am sure you wouldn’t judge.  Right?

To say I could snap at any moment would be an understatement.  Am I holding it together ok?  The answer is a resounding “for now”.  My biggest worry is the proverbial straw that will break this Mother’s back.  At the moment, the straw just might be white chalk.  What now?  Yep, you heard me right – WHITE CHALK.

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WTF.  White Chalk.  The bain of existence!

Shorty #2 is kicking off her preschool career this September and as part of her care package to contribute to the classroom (in addition to a pack of pencil crayons, some glue and an earthquake kit) the school has requested a box of plain white chalk.  Seems easy enough right?  Well, I’ve been to 3 stores already and NO WHITE CHALK.  Multi-coloured chalk a plenty – but no white chalk to be found.

Keep in mind that I have a full time job, 2 kids and a husband and have been running around the city for the past week dealing with all the shit on my plate and getting myself into 3 separate stores, all of which do indeed carry chalk but none of it white is just the sort of thing that could push me over the edge.  Like really?  What would happen if I drop the Shorty off for her 3 week gradual entry program (oh, THAT my friends is a whole other blog post) with a pack of multi-coloured chalk.  Would the teachers forgive and forget?  Or would I be forever branded as a problem parent.  Imagine, the scenario.  The one teacher says to the other “We’re missing one field trip payment.  Who could it be that hasn’t submitted?”  And she replies “I know.  Its that Mom who brought the multicoloured chalk.  Can’t follow instructions.”

These are the things running through my head when I wake at 4am. White chalk where are you????

Bad Blogger…

Me these days....

Me these days….

Jayzus!  I am a bad blogger.  I can’t even remember the last time I sat down and wrote a post.  I’ve been waiting for an inspiring reason to write (read: non-boring reason) but I just can’t seem to come up with anything that I feel is worthwhile.  So I guess I’ll write an apology instead.

Sorry.

There, are you happy?

Life just takes over sometimes and kids, career, husband, home maintenance, families and holidays take over my brain power and I simply don’t have the bandwidth to put it all down on paper (ok, laptop).  What can I say?

We’re fighting with the people that built our house over deficiencies which is SUPER FUN.  And when I say SUPER FUN, I mean in a total nightmare sort of way.  The work stuff is crazy as we just completed office renovations and are juggling unpacking and refurnishing with the daily chaos that is what we call in the music business Q4 aka the time when EVERYTHING happens.

The kids are completely obsessed by Halloween.  These are the most common phrases heard in our house these days:

5. “I want to be a cat for Halloween.  Can you get me a cat costume?  I know I wanted to be a Zombie Vampire Devil yesterday.  But now I want to be a cat.  Puuuhhhhlleeeazzze can you get me a cat costume.” – Shorty #1

4. “We need more decorations.” – Shorty #1

3. “This Halloween I want to be a Bumble Bee.  Next Halloween I want to be Spiderman.” – Shorty #2 who will clearly be disappointed when she realizes that successive Halloweens take place exactly one year apart.

2. “We don’t have enough decorations.  Can we go to the store and buy more?” – Shorty #1

And the #1 most heard phrase at our house these days:

1. “Is TODAY Halloween???” – Shorty #1 and #2

I’m continuously searching for a delicate way to explain that we have another two whole weeks of waiting!

We’re invited to a Gala on Friday night.  Which is lovely.  But no one can tell me what the expected dress code would be for said Gala.  I’m thinking then its perfectly acceptable to wear my fave Smythe blazer, jeans and heels.  RIGHT?  Please say yes.

Otherwise, its just life.  Day to day busy that all of you are experiencing too.  So just know that I love that you still come visit The R&R Mom and I love that you still care.  I promise that as soon as I can get my shit together and come up with a brilliant thing to write about, you’ll be the first to know.

XO

Hotel Awards

Regular followers of the R&R Mom know I am quite vocal about service when traveling, especially in hotels and on planes.  So it came to me that I should probably recognize some of my favorite places to stay with my first ever (and probably only) Hotel Amenities Awards.  So without further ado (even though there is hardly any “ado” anyways), here we go:

Best Hotel BedThe Four Seasons Los Angeles

Let’s face it.  The reason MOST of us are staying at a hotel is for a place to sleep so the quality of the bed, bedding, mattress AND pillows is of the utmost.  The bed at the Four Seasons LA has the perfect pillow to bed size ratio and is just cushy and cozy enough to lull this jetlagged old bag off to a deep slumber.

Sleep...

Sleep…

Best Hotel Bathroom – TIE – The Sunset Marquis West Hollywood and The Cosmopolitan Las Vegas

The Sunset Marquis wins for best bathtub.  The Cosmopolitan wins for sheer size and layout.

Best Hotel Bathroom Amenities – TIE – The Chateau Marmont West Hollywood and the W Hotel Hong Kong

The Kiehls products stacked up at the Chateau Marmont overrides the tired old bathrooms in desperate need of an upgrade.  At the W in Hong Kong, its all about the quantity of items.  Dental kits, shaving kits, bathing kits.  This place would be heaven if you lost your luggage.

Best Hotel Towels Claridges London

Big, soft, fluffy.  That in and of itself in a hotel towel is miraculous – but add in a fresh lavender scent and I’m in heaven.

Best Hotel MiniBarThe Thief Oslo

Clothing.  In the minibar.  Are you freaking kidding me?  It was like shopping in your room.  Another respite for weary luggageless travelers.

Best Breakfast The Sofitel Buenos Aires

No matter what you order, they bring croissants and pain au chocolat and those awesome Argentine treats Alfajores (chocolate covered dulce de leche cookies – shut. the. f^&%. up they are delicious).  Not to mention the entire pot of dulce de leche on the table to slather on your toast.  Disclaimer – I was pregnant when I stayed here, can you tell?

Best Hotel RestaurantGemma at The Bowery New York

Baked eggs with avocado and prosciutto for breakfast?  Do I need to say more?

Best Hotel Bar – TIE Lobby Bar at The Bowery New York and Vertigo at The Banyan Tree Bangkok

You have to battle to get a table after 10pm but it is one of the coziest, sexiest bars I’ve ever been too.  Vertigo is on the 61st floor overlooking Bangkok.  Who cares what the drinks are like.  You’re so high up, you’re already buzzing from lack of oxygen!

Best Hotel Swimming Pool – TIE – The Sunset Marquis West Hollywood and The Four Seasons Los Angeles

Of course LA hotels have the best pools.  The Sunset Marquis has 2 but I prefer the upper pool near the restaurant as opposed to the one in the courtyard.  More sun and more fun.  The pool at the Four Seasons is on the 4th floor, gets sun all day and is sheltered from the wind enough that its usable almost year round.

Best Hotel SpaEvason Six Senses Hua Hin Thailand

Outdoors comes indoors as geckos and frogs hop around the spa.  The Thai Yoga Massage was easily one of the best I’ve ever had.

 

 

 

 

Airplane Sleep

I’m a total chump.  Couldn’t help myself.  I caved like chocolate macaron in the hands of 5 year old.  I just became one of those people that I secretly mock and chastise.  I bought a neck pillow at the airport.  You know – the really soft, squishy kind that takes up loads of space in your carry-on and looks completely stupid when you wear it.

Well that's $20 I'm never getting back...

Well that’s $20 I’m never getting back…

I was heading to the gate before a 9 hour night flight in an economy seat knowing that on the other end I was going straight to work – sleeping on the plane was going to be necessary and I was willing to do anything to help facilitate that.  The truth is, $20 on a plushy pillow is not going to help for shit.  I was in for a crappy night’s sleep no matter what.

People carry these ridiculous pillows, take pills, wear eye masks and ear plugs all in an effort to sleep on the red-eye but that’s kinda why they call it the RED EYE.  Its never going to be restful until you’re settled in that little pod up in business class safely away from the plebs in coach battling out for armrests and recline space.  The reality is that in that confined economy seat you are at the mercy of those around you.  The seat grabber behind you, old recliner in front, the snorer beside you.  Not to mention the sweet lady on the other side who has now rested her head on your shoulder and is out cold.  All the way to New York.  (Yes, this happened to me.  And NO I didn’t say anything.  I’m Canadian.  I just screamed in my head WAKE UP!!!!!)  Nothing helps you escape those factors so you can fall into a peaceful slumber.  Not to mention the physical constraints of stretching out or finding enough recline in the seat so you don’t do the old head bob forward.  No.  The fact is you’re lucky if you get any sleep at all.

I wedge myself into the seat with knees up trying to find some sort of fetal position of comfort.  In the meantime, my neck is wrenched, my tailbone bruised from the armrests and I’ve taken a drink cart to the back of the head.  Ahh airplane sleep, you elusive mistress.  The statement “Don’t worry, you can sleep on the plane” is an outright lie and everyone knows it.  Instead I guess I’ll just catch up on all the TV and movies I’ve missed.

 

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year?

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Last year, I wrote this post about how much I hate Labor Day and how it mockingly heralds the end of summer.  But this year, there’s a bit of change a foot.  For the first time in my – ahem – forty-something years, I’m actually starting to count the days.

Its been an extra long summer due to the old teacher’s strike (which is highly likely to carry on into September) and Shorty #1 is bored!  We’ve tried to keep her well programmed with summer camps and what-nots but she is done.  She misses her routine and she clearly missed the vibrant social life that the classroom offers.  I’m ready for her to go back to school.  I’m ready for her to get back down to the business of learning.  And I’m ready for her to get settled into a routine.

I’m also ready for everyone to finish their freaking holidays and get back to work.  The summer slowdown this year has seriously cramped my style.  Everything upon everything I’ve been working on has been on hold while the masses are on summer vacation.  HONESTLY, if I get one more out-of-office email, I’m going to puke.  Yes, yes, you’re away for the next 15 days.  Quit bragging that you will only have “limited access to email.”  We all know that’s total bullshit.  Unless you’re spending your holiday at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean or in my kitchen (which is a cell black out zone for some bizarre reason) – you only have limited access to email because you don’t WANT to have access to email.  Just be honest:

“Please be advised that I am now on vacation with people that I love.  I don’t love you because we are merely business associates so I have no plans to respond to your annoying message until I am back in the office and have had at least one full day to complain to everyone about all the email I need to catch up on.”

Yes!  Bring on September and lets all get back into the swing of things.  Besides, Christmas break is just around the corner.

 

D-BAD: Airlines

D-BAD aka DON’T BE A DOUCHE.  Each week I get to call out someone/ someplace or something for being a total DOUCHEBAG.  Its when I get to vent and take out my frustration on whatever makes me nuts each week, are you in?  Feel free to share your D-BAD’S anytime!

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Dear Airlines:

Can we have a heart to heart about change fees?  I mean, I get it.  If we all changed our reservations all the time willy nilly, it would be a total NIGHTMARE for you.  How could you plan anything?  But the simple fact is that we don’t use you like we did in the good old days. Its not like we’re only flying once every few years for the long saved-for vacation.  In this day and age we actually commute by air.  And that means we fly a lot and when we fly a lot the likelihood of plans changing is very high.

With this in mind, its ok to charge us a small, reasonable fee to make the change and detract from whimsy.  That’s cool.  But the change fee and then an additional fee to compensate for the change in fares?  C’mon.  DON’T BE A DOUCHE.  Its the same seat to the same destination.  Why do you have to get so assy and expensive about it?

As it is, we pay hundreds in hidden surcharges and taxes.  That’s cool.  We pay to change our seats.  Ok.  We pay to check a bag.  Sure.  We pay for the glass of wine and crappy sandwich on board.  I get it.  Can you please cut us some slack and let us make a change without having to cash in savings bonds?  I mean, you’re allowed to change itineraries and cancel flights on us and we don’t charge you.  Right?

C’mon airlines.  Don’t be a douche!

Love.

The R&R Mom

 

Hats Off!

Can we talk about hats?  Like as a fashion statement.  I like a hat.  I really really do.  I envy those airport paparazzi shots of Hollywood starlets looking all cool after a trans-Atlantic flight sporting a jaunty hat and sunglasses.  It looks good.  I treasure the image of my grandparents out for the day circa 1964 in camel hair overcoats and matching fedoras.  Its a pretty bad ass silhouette.

But I just can’t do it.

I own hats.  I think I even look good in a hat.  But I can’t.  I feel like a douche.  Maybe if I moved to Europe, I could reinvent myself and incorporate the hat into my daily street style rotation?  Is that it?  Would that work ok?  Otherwise, I’m the lady with the hats in the closet collecting dust.

Shorty #1 and I have some fun shopping.

Shorty #1 and I go shopping.

Maybe I should have been born into royalty, then I would feel more free to express my hat love more openly.  Good for you Katy Cambridge, you lucked out to marry into a hat wearing family.  Go for it sister.  Expand your horizons beyond that little fascinator and rock out a wide-brim why don’t you?  I know people judge you for what you wear but you can actually pull that shit off.

The truth is that a hat is a pain in the ass.  They are a nightmare to pack (I’m looking at you Mr. taking up half an overhead storage bin with your Tilley Endurable).  They make my forehead itch.  And seriously, when we’re inside and need to take the hat off – HAT HAIR.  WTF!  Any minuscule amount of fashion props we’re getting for rocking a great hat goes immediately out the window when you’re sporting a crushed blow out.

So, I guess I’ll just save you my precious for a day at the beach.  The rest of you are getting donated to the School for Johnny Depp impersonators.

Traffic Jammed

Traffic jam - in my living room/ office/ study.

Traffic jam – in my living room/ office/ study.

Picture if you will, a sunny summer afternoon in the Pacific Northwest.  A rare day where warm breezes tickle our cheeks, the smell of salty sea and cedar forests kiss our noses.  We must be outside enjoying the lovely day.  NOPE! NO WE ARE NOT.  We are inside, working.  Why you ask?  Because its a Thursday!  So unless you’re enjoying your summer holidays – GO BACK TO WORK YOU LAZY GIT!

I wish I could go to work today.  But I can’t.  Our offices are being renovated you see and there’s no where for me to set up shop without the constant dulcet tones of a table saw and the fog from piles of dust.   We’re just back from our annual summer vacay and typically I would be quite keen to head back to the office today.  A chance for adult conversation, to put on more make-up than simply sunscreen etc.  So I tried to brave the construction site but only lasted a mere 30 minutes and headed home.  This is where things get interesting.

 J is also mid office renovation so he too is working from home.  And Shorty #1 is home on one of her rare weeks off from Summer Camp.  #2 is running around along with our nanny.  The tutor is here, the phone is ringing, emails are piling in and I’ve been relegated to my bedroom.  I’m trying to be productive (as you can see, its going well) but as I’m all thumbs on this touchpad mouse I just marked all my unread emails read.  That’s REALLY bad as its my to do list.  So now I’m busy scouring over 55,000 emails to make sure I am not missing anything.  By the way, WHY do they call it a lap top if its impossible to use on your lap?

Tomorrow should be more of the same, with pleas from the attic and J’s office to keep it down as multiple conference calls are being conducted and kids are tearing around searching for their stuff.  I think I may become one of those people that sets up shop in the local Starbucks for the day.  If you’re looking for me, that’s where I’ll be.

Ode to a Boot

Roses are red

My boots are black

I love my Fryes

More than my flats

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I was messing around online and stumbled across this post on Vogue.com and it made me think about just how much I love my Frye Harness motorcycle boots.  I picked them up 9 years ago in the heat of August at a Nordstrom annual summer sale.  They are a little battered and beaten but still comfortable as hell.  The scuffs and scrapes only add character to these beauties.  They look great with jeans, with a little dress, anything goes.  Really, what’s not to love…

…Except that they are heavy as hell.  I wore them when I was pregnant and nearly went into labor.  I remember stopping in the mall and sitting on a bench with contractions.  I went home, took the boots off and laid down and the contractions went away – so you can be a slave to fashion even in your third trimester.

The truth is that Frye makes great boots.  They are solid and they hold up well to the shit-kicking I put them through including several rainy Pacific Northwest winters.  They are not cheap, but when you factor in how many seasons you can pull out of them, the amortized rate makes them a bargain.

In addition to the Harness, that I love so much – Frye make other super cute styles.  I have a pair of the Melissa Button riding boots that I bought almost 5 years ago.  I still wear them every fall/ winter.  They never go out of style.  Unlike the Harness, I have had to have them re-soled, but that was worth every penny as they are still in great shape.  The more you wear a pair of Fryes, the more comfortable they get.  The more beat up they are, the cooler they look.

Trust me – they’re worth the money.  And they didn’t pay me a dime (or a boot) to say so!

Flying Frequently?

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I’m on airplanes.  A lot.  The experience of jet travel has slowly declined since its inception.  The days of the glamorous jetliner where guests dressed in their finest and were seated in the lap of luxury are now long long gone – unless of course you can fork over the cash to upgrade into business class (or better).  For the majority, the experience is nothing better than a flying Greyhound bus – perhaps worse as you’re often trapped in your miniscule seat for hours and hours with no chance for escape at the next stop.

From the start, the whole concept of flying is completely backwards from any other consumer experience we face today.  Think about it – in what other industry do you pay hundreds, often thousands of dollars to submit to a strip search and then be held hostage behind guards until you board the plane.  Not to mention if you’re delayed – to be kept completely in the dark with misinformation or worse lack of information with little to no regard for your comfort or schedule.  Imagine if this happened when you went shopping for a big screen TV?  God forbid if you become frustrated or angry at the lack of regard for your needs after spending all that money, then you can be branded difficult and then denied to take the trip at all?  I mean come on.

In the airline business, the customer is no longer a customer.  You’re merely someone who paid a lot of money to 9 times out of 10 be treated like shit.  And we still submit to this every single day.

On a recent trip out of New York, I arrived at the airport ahead of a flight to Nashville only to find out that not only had my flight been cancelled, but that the airline had graciously booked me on another flight just 36 hours later.  No consideration, compensation or EVEN accommodation was made for the inconvenience.   All day I checked online to make sure the flight was on time and only learned of the cancellation when I tried to check in.  It turns out the flight was cancelled due to Air Traffic Conditions.  The airport was too busy to accommodate all of the flights it had confirmed for the day.  Right.  Ok.

As a result of the cancellation, I had to pay to get myself back to Manhattan, lose a deposit on the Nashville hotel and pay for another night in my NY hotel.  Since my trip to Nashville was only for one night, it meant that entire leg of my trip was now off and I was forced to re-route home.  When the dust settled, the airline had the nerve to charge me a change fee and refused to refund for the leg of the trip out of Nashville that I couldn’t take due to their cancellation.

When (and if) you get on board the plane, the fun doesn’t stop.  Why on earth are they making the seats smaller and closer together?  I mean, I get the concept of cramming more bodies on that metal tube so the airline can make more money, but really?  I worry that the likelihood of deep vein thrombosis increases exponentially everytime the person sitting in front of me, reclines their seat.  Dude, I am quite sure that the extra 3 inches of space you gained in front of your nose must make you so much more comfortable.  The last time I flew a new “tourist class” airline, I had a rather intimate relationship with the seat back in front of me, it was that close.

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Should we talk about the food?  Like why?  Why try and be fancy when that really stopped the day they replaced the silverware with plastic.  At this point, can we just simplify things?  Nice fresh sandwiches.  Cheese and crackers.  Fruit that’s not served with some kind of strange dip.  Keep it simple if it can’t be fancy.  Simple and good would be just fine.

And Wifi.  Really, I would pay for wifi on an airplane EVERY TIME I FLY.  Did you hear that?  PAY REAL MONEY.  Its not hard to do, some airlines are on the case with this.  For those of you airlines that haven’t jumped on this bandwagon yet – WHY THE HELL NOT?  I know lots of people that would very happily pay for wifi on a flight.  Lets just do it, ok?

The real question here is why does the airline industry seem to not get these things.  Why have the basics of customer needs fallen so far by the wayside?  And why do we as the consumers continue to allow the bad service and crummy experiences to happen over and over again?  Why?   What can we do about this as an unhappy consumer?  Go with the competition who are no better? Write a letter.  HA!  What good does that do?  Oh, here’s a voucher for $50 for future travel with the offending airline.

I guess as long as we want to travel as much as we do, the experience will continue to, for the most part, completely suck.  At this point we are so used to the dramas of air travel as commonplace that a good flight, with good experience is something to get excited about.  So for now, I guess we celebrate the good days when they happen and commiserate together the commonplace occurrence of yet another travel day horror story.