Dreaming of a Sleepy Christmas

Sleep regression. Why? It’s really kinda cruel and unusual punishment. Kid hits the 2 year mark and has been sleeping through the night for months and you’re finally starting to think and act like a normal human who gets a solid nights sleep. Then WHAM! (Not the George Michael version) sleep regression hits you smack in the face.

Shorty #2 is 2 1/2. She’s all about sleep regression. Bed time can be a nightmare. Not only do we have to lay with her for the 30-60 minutes it takes for her to fall asleep, we have to be prepared for every single delay tactic she hurls at us.

“I’m not tired.”

“Wanna watch a movie.”

“My tummy hurts.”

And the all time favorite;


#2 has perfected the “water ask” better than any kid I’ve ever met. She croaks it out in a weakened whisper, like Lawrence of Arabia stranded in the desert, she spies the oasis in the distance and begins her plea. “Water” she breathes, when we don’t immediately respond, she becomes a little more insistent “waaater”. If we’re not returning with the glass in hand at this point, she becomes a little more unglued until finally;


When finally sufficiently watered and AT LAST asleep, usually after us, we’re now able to settle in for a solid 2-3 hours before the next wake up. This can happen any time between midnight and 4am. And it totally SUCKS. No matter what wakes the little bean, she’s up for minimum another 30-60 minutes. Tossing, turning, kicking, elbowing. Finally she remembers her favorite tool, “WATER” she whispers.

Eventually she’ll doze off again, and I’m up. iPhone blazing, email checking, Facebook nosing – I can’t decide if technology helps or hinders insomnia. If I’m lucky, I’ll catch another hour before the house wakes up to start the day.

And here we are again, back to that sleep deprived state of early motherhood. Living for caffeine and relying on that 3rd cup of coffee. I’m sure the light is at the end of the tunnel, lets hope it’s a nightlight.

…and to all a good and sleepy night.


Its Beginning to Look a lot Like…

The Christmas decorations in the hotel on my last trip kept reminding me of my shortcomings as a gift giver...

The Christmas decorations in the hotel on my last trip kept reminding me of my shortcomings as a gift giver…

Yes, yes it is.  The most wonderful time of the year.  Unless you’re someone’s mom.  Then its a little less wonderful and whole lot more manic.

I was organized this year.  With all the time on the road, I buckled down one free Saturday and did all the Christmas shopping in one shot.  Ordered the out of town gifts online so they shipped directly.  Sorted out the Shorties.  Organized.  Awesome.  Now we’re a week away from the big day and I’m starting to second guess.  Its like when you make a record and it takes 6 months for the label to release it, you start to worry.  Will it be ok?  Will they like it?  Is it enough?  So now I’m in that manic panic of running around from store to store coming out empty handed.  I know I shouldn’t worry.  Three weeks ago I was on top of the world, doing the Rocky run around the house, fists pumping; “I’m done!!!”  What happened between then and now that I am second guessing every gift I bought.  Seriously?  What’s my problem?

Aside from my own psychotic need to please people and make everyone’s holiday perfect, I’m also now deep in the throes of the hostess gift.  Stocking the right amount of gifts to give to those kind enough to invite all 4 of us over for some holiday cheer.  When you have toddlers, the hostess gift better be good to make up for the pomegranate juice spilled on the white carpet or Shorty #1 single handedly tearing off the fireplace door (this actually happened…).  Maybe a gift certificate for a maid service?  Or a free post-holiday/ visit by us carpet cleaning?  These are good ideas for next year.

I know I shouldn’t be so hard on myself and to be honest, this year I’ve taken a bit of a chill pill.  There’s no lights on the outside of the house and save for the stockings being hung by the chimney with care, the inside Christmas decor is kept to a minimum.  Maybe I’ll even live up to my annual vow to “not go overboard this year.”  So if you’re on my list, I apologize in advance if you hate it or if you think I cheaped out.  Its all about the presence, not the presents – right?

Happy holidays.  xoxo

Blurred Lines

I’m home!  I’m home, I’m home, I’m home.  I am so f#%@ing happy to be home, I can’t even tell you.  This last trip was 10 days, not too bad.  But the break between trips was just a week, so it felt waaaay longer than normal.

Its strange to come home after such a long and intense roadtrip.  Life on the road is a little manic.  You spend all your time with a bunch of people that become your family in a way.  This little unit of people traversing across the country (or the world!) experiencing all kinds of madness and chaos along the way in the hyper microcosm that is entertainment business.  People catering to your every need.  Successes earned.   Surreal moments experienced.  Calls home are tough, brief and don’t cover the half of the stuff that’s gone on…

Shorty #2 is happy I'm home...

Shorty #2 is happy I’m home…

The next thing you know you’re walking in your front door, to the family waiting within.  All smiles and kisses and hugs. This is where you experience The Blurred Lines of your life – the reality of life on the road and life at home.  The difference between room service and the empty fridge, feather beds and snotty sheets, car service and the gas station.  Life on the road can be plush.  Life at home can be tough.  Maybe the lines aren’t so blurred after all.  What time is our dinner reservation becomes do we have any cans of soup in the cupboard?  Can housekeeping collect the laundry becomes holy sh&%, how can two kids create so much laundry?  Oh, there’s George Clooney at the bar becomes there’s my neighbor taking up 2 parking spots again.

If you’ve been following the R&R Mom, you’ve heard me prattle on about this before.  I love coming back to the reality that is home.  But it always takes a couple of days to get back into the swing and not expect the maid to make my bed.  Some other road warriors I know call it their grumpy time.  It really is a readjustment.  For me, its trying to slow down to the pace of everyday life rather than the protracted 18 hour work day that the road can be.  The first day I’m home, people expect me to be tired; “You don’t want to meet for lunch when you’re just getting home!”  Quite the contrary, just try and stop me.  Poor J – I’m like ” Lets go here and here and here and HERE and then when we get home lets do this and this and THIS.”  Day 2 on the other hand and I’m crashing.  Can’t stay up past 8pm.  That is NOT a very rock and roll bedtime.

So here I am back in the land of poopy diapers and grocery lists, happy for a little reality check.  Counting the days until the next trip (5) but this time for vacation with the shorties!

Heartbreak Hotel

I stay in hotels a lot.  All kinds of hotels running the spectrum of number of stars.  In my opinion that makes me kind of an expert on what makes a hotel awesome (or more likely, not so awesome).  The real question is – when is anyone going to ask me my opinion?  Probably never.  But, guess what?  That’s why God invented Blogs, so people like me can blab away with their opinion, especially on the bad things hotels offer to cause the travel heartbreak.  Right?

#2 - Hotel Guest

#2 – Hotel Guest

So here goes, my top ten tips to hoteliers on what they need to do to make their hotel awesome….

1. Hooks – I hate hanging my clothes in a hotel closet.  Especially when I’m only there for like 12 hours total.  A hook or two by the door would be awesome!

2. WiFi – hotel wifi has come a long way from the days of the dreaded firewall that blocked email and other such shenanigans.  But man, why does it still cost $35 a day.  The sound of the words Free WiFi is like a choir of angels singing…

3. Counter Space in the Bathroom – What’s with this?  People travelling – especially girls – are carrying toiletries and cosmetics.  Why is counter space always an issue in a hotel?  Big sinks, fancy tissue holders, soap dishes.  I need space for my stuff so if you’re not going to give me drawers in the bathroom, then how about a little counter space.  Same applies for shelf space in the shower.

… and speaking of showers….

4. Rain Showers – I HATE these shower heads.  They are a pain in the ass especially when you’re having a non-hairwashing day.  HATE.  Its true.

5. Mini Bars – Ok, I kinda like mini-bars sometimes but lately I keep encountering an empty fridge in lieu of the stocked mini-bar.  I rarely dip in and sometimes like to self cater a little, so finding middle ground here would be awesome.  A little bottled water (still and sparkling if you don’t mind), coconut water and maybe some booze, but leave a little space for some of my own snacks.  How about that?

6. Slippers.  Barefeet in a hotel room = EUW.  Slippers = Yes please!

7. Amenities – I’m all for the boutique brands for the bathroom amenities.  Love them.  But FORGET it if they contain anything rose scented.  Seriously, the perfumey products are a bad idea.  PLUS, I haven’t met a dude yet that wants to use gardenia scented shampoo.  Keep it simple.  Clean, mild scents are a much better way to go.

8. The Hotel Car – Who gets to use it?  What’s the point?  Yes, I see your Bentley parked out front, but if the chances of me using it are nil, then get it out of my face.

9. Breakfast – Make it available.  Make it good.  Make it quick.  Doesn’t have to be free but highway robbery would be frowned upon.

10. Music – Don’t forget, I work in the music business so I appreciate the ambiance that comes with music.  However, I am not down with an elevator that could double as a disco (I’m looking at you W Hotel in Hong Kong) or walking into the room to a full frontal assault of horrible smooth jazz courtesy of the turn down service.  Neither are probably necessary, like at all.

So there it is.  I won’t charge for my consulting services on such matters.  Just upgrade me next time I’m through.