The Cans and the Cannots

My sense of personal style can be easily divided into 2 categories when it comes to keeping up with the latest fashion trends.  The Cans and the Cannots.  Its VERY simple.  As a young minded 40-something, there are looks I know I can pull off and some that, quite frankly are a stretch.  The latter are those looks that either (a) I simply cannot wrap my head around, or (b) look completely ridiculous on me.  There are lots of trendy fashion statements that I love (ie: the boyfriend jean – don’t ever quit me, the small leather backpack, fabulous over-the-knee boots) that I hope NEVER go out of style.  But there are some trends of late that I just CANNOT DO:

1. Ankle Boots with a Skirt – I want to do this.  SO. BAD.  But this is simply a case of not being able to wrap my head around it.  I love to see this look on other people or in magazines but when its my turn I just can’t do it.

2. High Waisted Jeans – well, this is a given.  To wear these you have to follow the 25 rule.  You cannot be over 25 or wear anything larger than size 25 jeans.

3. Really Low Waisted Jeans – for two very simple reasons.  #1 – I have a high butt crack.  This requires no further explanation.  #2 – I have a mommy belly that comes from birthing 2 live humans.  So suck it.  That is all.

4. Overalls – that old adage that you should never wear a trend twice is true.  By the time something like overalls comes back in the picture, it’s been 20 years and we are now far too old to pull this off.

5. Cut-Off Jeans – couldn’t do it when I was 15, couldn’t do it when I was 25 and I SURE AS HELL am not doing it now.  PS – why are they SO short this year?  I mean, I’m not a prude but to quote my grandmother “You can see everything she owns.”  Under NO circumstances is it ok to reveal labia.

Grandma's version of a perfectly acceptable outfit.

Grandma’s version of a perfectly acceptable outfit.  Elbows covered please!

6. Denim on Denim – aka The Canadian Tuxedo.  I feel like this is just TOO much denim.  It looks like a mistake.  “Everything else was in the laundry.”  Maybe I’m old school and since this used to be a fashion faux pas, I just can’t get into it.  Which is even more bizarre since I am clearly ok with my purse and shoes not matching, and I think mixing gold and silver jewelry is cool.  But for the record, I do struggle with white after Labor Day.

7. Hats – because, well if you read this you would know.


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