…to my iPhone.
I feel compelled to tell you how much you mean to me. You with your white shiny case. Your warm touch against my cheek. The way you glide from one screen to the next. The way you beep and ping to tell me what’s new. The way you steadfastly carry all of my most treasured apps. The way you sit in the charger every night, waiting for the day to begin so we can be reunited again.
I love you iPhone and I would be lost without you.
Its true. I would. I have never been more attached to a thing in my whole life. Almost daily I feel that panic when digging through my colossal handbag and I can’t find you. Blood pressure slowly rising, sweat breaking on my brow, only to realize you’re in my back pocket. Phew, a sigh of relief. What would I do without you, my beloved?
I would have no idea which Harry Potter character I was or what the weather forecast would be for tomorrow. I would not be able to check how I did when I challenged J on that QuizUp game or if there was a new level to crack on Angry Birds. How could I possibly know what Princess Kate wore yesterday or if Jimmy Fallon created something even more awesome, let alone be able to share these things. My Instagram would remain fallow and without news of delicious food I had cooked myself or cute things the Shorties had done. I wouldn’t be able to creep on Facebook to see how much cooler my old classmates are. It would be a disaster.
Let alone, how would I check email?
Yes, dear sweet beloved iPhone. You are my everything. I really really love you. A lot. Do you love me as much as I love you? Really? Because I think you are so amazing and awesome and I really really hope you never leave me. You won’t ever leave me, will you? Right? You won’t, right? Promise me we will never be apart. PROMISE!!!!!!!
Maybe this relationship is a little unbalanced. Is it possible that this isn’t healthy? Maybe its you that’s causing the carpal tunnel syndrome in my wrist and thoracic outlet syndrome in my shoulder. Maybe its you thats keeping me up at night. Maybe you’re the reason my eyesight is starting to fail. Maybe you and all your “radioactive” airwaves are fogging my brain. Maybe you’re the problem and not me. I think maybe we should break up. But I do love you, I really do, you’re just so bad for me.
We won’t ever break up. That’s the truth. I can’t quit you iPhone. But maybe we should see other people. Get some hobbies outside of our relationship. Its not you iPhone, its me.
The R&R Mom
Absolutely brilliant! Love it!