50 Shades of…

… insert your adjective here.

Yeah, I read it.  Am I proud?  No.  Do I want others to know I read it?  Not really.  BUT, after reading it I did have one very strong feeling… GIVE ME BACK MY $19.99!!!

E.L. James is a f&*$ing genius and all us women are a bunch of dupes for actually falling for the hype.  The writing in this book is abysmal.  The plot is pathetic.  If I was Stephanie Meyer I would be suing!  Replace Christian Grey with Edward Cullen, take out the sex and we’re back to the Young Adult section.

I admit it, I’m an avid consumer of pop culture.  If everyone’s talking about it, I want to know about it.  So I shelled out the cold hard cash to buy it (ok, it was on my iBook account) and devoured the book in a matter of days.  When it was over I felt like the girl who had one two many and went home with the bartender, doing the walk of shame the morning after in last night’s eyeliner.  A little dirty, a little violated and undoubtedly ripped off.

Its a sad state of affairs that the number one book on the New York Times Bestseller list features a mousey protagonist whose sense of self worth is so pathetic that she allows herself to be “rescued” by a total dickhead who just happens to be a bajillionaire and drop dead gorgeous.  Isn’t it every girl’s dream come true?  To meet the perfect, gorgeous, rich, well connected sado-masochist?  COME ON!  By the middle of that book, I wanted to scream from the highest tower – ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  HAVE SOME SELF-RESPECT!  RUN AWAY!     Then I wanted to find a higher tower and scream to the women of the world – PUT THAT BOOK DOWN, WALK AWAY FROM THE BOOK!

Obviously there’s a reason we’re consuming the Twilight trilogy and 50 Shades.  The market is clearly demanding it.  Women are often attracted to the bad boy – which I guess is why James Dean posters are still being made and men in their 40’s ride motorcycles.  I’m not a very good feminist, and am not really in a position to preach to anyone about the decline of society – so I’ll shut my pie-hole and let people do what they want… they will anyway (thanks for that Pops!).

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