Category Archives: Working Mom

May 2

Be Prepared

My Dad was a Queen Scout.  He taught me to always be prepared.  He has a direct line to Canadian Tire and can outfit a car, apartment, house, boat – you name it – with every bit of safety gear in the event of calamity – batteries, flash lights, fire extinguishers.  I remember him stocking my first studio apartment in Vancouver, I had 6 flashlights in 600 sq feet including the closets.

Dad’s preparedness is clearly genetic.  My Grandparents were legendary for their pantry.   This was Cold-War era stockpiling at its best.  Dad definitely got this from them and he passed it on to me.  Our pantry is borderline hoarding territory.  But truly, my need to be prepared is most evident when I’m heading out on the road and all supplies need to be carefully packed in a suitcase and paraded around from home to taxi to airport to taxi to hotel lobby for the whole world to see.  I admit it, I am a chronic overpacker.  Most recently I was heading out on a three day trip and I’ve packed an oversized Samsonite that is tipping the scale just under the 70lb limit (phew!).

Disclaimer: I was traveling to the Canadian Prairies in the “spring” so I had to be prepared for any sort of weather pattern.  AND it was 12 celsius when I left home and I landed in a -14 celsius windchill.  To be honest I still froze my ass off all in the name of fashion.

Nevertheless, its good to be prepared and sometimes being prepared is just having wardrobe options.  What if I have been traveling for the past week and the hotel food bloat creeps up – you need to have your fat pants or at least Spanx for moments such as this.  What if that dinner is a little more formal than you expected and the red heels are so much cooler than plain old black boots you’ve been wearing all day.  Or what if you spill coffee all over your one pair of jeans during a little turbulence.  Options are always important to be suitably prepared.

Now we need to factor in the other comfort items required for life on the road.  If you’ve read some of my previous blogs you’ll know I’m not such a fan of hotel rooms.  So to beat the travel blues, I bring some scented Voluspa candles.  I’ve also invested in a pair of lightweight Nikes so I can hit the gym.  If I’m really lucky and have the space, sometimes I’ll throw in the yoga mat.  I’m not saying I actually use all these things.  But what if I have a spare hour in the hotel and I can finally take up meditation????

We haven’t even gotten into the gory details about the food I bring just in case room service can’t accommodate my dairy, gluten and sugar free regime (UPDATE: so far so good on sticking with the plan with only the occasional cheats – thank GOD for rice cakes).  Whole food bars and packets of almond butter can save the day.

I take full responsibility for my over-packing, proudly schlepping my bag in all its glory.   The real truth however is if you think this is bad – you should see what happens when I travel with the kids!

Apr 16

I Shop, Therefore I Am…

What can I say.  I love to shop.  Always have, probably always will.

It’s definitely genetic.  I started at a young age, following my Mom and Aunties around discount stores and outlet malls on illicit cross-border shopping trips.  Buying up hordes of clothes at rock bottom prices, then carrying all the bags into the Denny’s bathroom on the I-75 to try and wear EVERYTHING back across the border in an effort to avoid duty charges.  I have this clear memory – I was about 12.  My mom wearing some Wham! knock-off sweatshirt that I bought, my aunt layered in 4 brand new leotards for her aerobics classes and me in a skirt with a pair of pants rolled up underneath.  Scuffing the brand new shoes all the way to the car, the old ones long discarded in the Denny’s bathroom trash. The real moment of terror was when my sister noticed the pants rolling down under my skirt.

Shorty #1 in NYC with her Grandma - note the bags piled on the back of the stroller!

Shorty #1 in NYC with her Grandma – note the bags piled on the back of the stroller!

We loved new clothes and nothing was stopping us from getting them.  (Sh&# – I hope there’s a statue of limitations on smuggling seconds, overruns and deeply discounted clothes).

My smuggling days are long past now.  I always declare what I buy.  But I still LOVE to shop.  When I’m on the road, shopping is my favourite way to see a new city.  I hate sitting around a hotel room, so if I have a window of time to head to the shops, I take it.

I don’t have a particular fetish per se.  It isn’t just shoes I lust after.  It’s everything… with one tiny condition.  It has to be on sale.  Yes, my training as a professional shopper was ingrained with “you must get a deal”.  So now, I may fall in love with the beautiful pair of Frye boots in the window, but if they are full price I have to walk away OR find them on sale some way, some how.  Which has lead me to… the internet.  I never dreamt that online shopping could be so fruitful.

Yes, I am now on the mailing list for many online shops.  My gmail inbox fills every morning with notices of discounts, special offers and warehouse sales.  I lovingly sift through them looking for my favourite brands for me and the girls.  Hoping to see those Frye boots discounted even just a little.  Its so fun – the shopping is coming to me.  I can shop from the comfort of my bed, coffee in hand.  When the UPS man delivers that beautiful parcel, I can try the clothes on in the privacy of my own home (and lighting!).  I don’t need to worry about wearing my fancy underwear in case the sales lady walks in the fitting room – I’m in my own bedroom for pete’s sake.  Every now and again it doesn’t work and I have to ship the items back.  But for now, I’m kind of into you online shopping.

PS – in case you’re wondering and because they are AWESOME.  My favourite online shop is http://www.eluxe.ca

Feb 22

This is a Man’s World

Life on the road with dudes

I work in the music business.  One of the last bastions of male domination.  Sure, there are lots of amazing women that work in this business, but the upper echelons are still held by men.

Its ok.  I actually don’t mind it.  Some of these guys that I’ve had the privilege to work with harken back to an era of when women were dames and men wore fedoras – and not in some weird fad-ish way.  Like the real deal Don Draper-styles.  These guys are something else.  Aside from male domination, this is also an industry that’s fed by youth and here they are running the machine, still relevant, still getting their calls returned.  I love it when they call me “Babe” when they forget my name.  Somehow they have earned the right.  Now if some little hotshot straight out of recording engineering school tried that he would get the freeze from me!

I don’t mind being one of the few women at the table.  The women that are here are for the most part pretty damn cool and have more chutzpah in their baby finger than you can imagine.  Women who have built major companies while nursing babies and traveling the country.  Pushing a stroller side stage, they created their own empires.  And they did this in the ’70s and ’80s when you were a pariah for even considering the working mom title.  Women who have chosen to make the artists their families and work around the clock, dedicating themselves to the business.  Female artists who have had to overcome the need for physical beauty to find success and respect for their artistry in spite of their looks.

I always wanted to go down to Chinatown and buy those jangley Chinese meditation balls and send them to all my female colleagues. The way I see it you always need a good set of balls in this business.

Feb 15

I am, I am, I am SuperMom

Take your daughter to work day - Shorty #2

Take your daughter to work day – Shorty #2

I was just reading Devon Corneal’s blog on Huffingtonpost.com about what not to say to a working mom.  (Here’s the link – http://www.huffingtonpost.com/devon-corneal/what-not-to-say-to-a-working-mom_b_2566952.html)  Its incredible to me that in 2013 women have to defend their decision to return to work after having kids!  Kinda like what not to say to a pregnant lady – working moms can be just as vulnerable when hit below the belt with the judge-y comments hurled at them by other moms.

Heading back to the workforce is a really hard thing to do.  At the end of the blessed mat leave, Mom’s returning to the office are torn. Hormones are still supercharged still, the work clothes only kinda fit and your sweet little bundle has been left in the care of some stranger!  The last thing anyone needs is some jackass SuperMom judging the choice to re-enter the work force.

DISCLAIMER: Just so we’re clear before people start tearing my head off in the comments section – this post is NOT targeting Mom’s who make the choice of full time parenting.  I applaud those parents for their choice and respect (and even envy) their position.  This post is about those blabbermouth know-it-alls that give working mom’s grief for choosing careers over staying at home with the kids.

When Shorty #1 hit the one year mark, I had to extricate myself out of the sweatpants and back into my heels.  IT SUCKED!  Big time.  I cried and cried.  The hunt for childcare was horrendous (THAT is a whole other post) and I was a wreck leaving her every day.  But then, once I was well back in the swing, the hormones had balanced and my good jeans were just starting to fit again – it hit me.  I was sitting on a plane waiting to fly somewhere to meet up with a client on tour, beating myself up for leaving Shorty and J.  In a this moment of self-flagellation, it suddenly all came together;  I have to do my job.  Its an important part of who I am and leaving the job I’ve wanted to do since I was 12 years old would actually be a disservice to my kids.  By doing the job I loved, I was showing Shorty #1 (and eventually Shorty #2) that a woman CAN do whatever she wants to do, she can be whatever she wants to be.  And I haven’t looked back since… until we started school and I met the SUPERMOM.

SU-PER-MOM – n. informal – A Mom who does not work outside of the home, who bakes proficiently and volunteers incessantly while at the same time judges all other Moms for their short-comings, life choices and perceived failings.

SUPERMOMS are a whole new breed compared to the Daycare Moms I had encountered in the past.  Daycare Moms share sympathetic smiles at drop-off time, nodding in solidarity at the peanut butter on your lapel or the fact that you forgot the kid’s lunch.  Some SUPERMOMS can be equally as sympathetic and cool as the Daycare Moms – but always in every class there is one SUPERMOM who wears the badge of SuperMomdom like no one else!  She breezes in with her little one.   She doesn’t worry about forgetting lunch, why Junior eats lunch at home everyday.  She says things like “Are you staying for carpet time?  Oh right, you have to go to work.”  She invites you to midday playdates and when you decline says “Oh right, you have to work.”  The SUPERMOM scares the sh*& out of me with her ability to make cupcakes, host a party and write up a whole class of Valentines in one fell swoop.

SUPERMOMS also stick together.  I see their sideways glances as I drop off the Shorties with my phone in hand and a conference call waiting.  I hear their asides – judging Working Moms for choosing careers over kids.  One time was much like being back in High School.  I was with Shorty at the playground after one midday preschool pick-up.  The SUPERMOMS were huddled on the other side of the jungle gym and were talking loudly about their maternity leaves and plans to stay at home.  One SUPERMOM was recounting a story about a former co-worker who had negotiated the ability to work from home on certain days to be home with her kids, “Can you believe it?  She is so selfish and our boss always gives her whatever she wants!”  I was shocked.  These SUPERMOMS knew me and they knew that I was currently working from home so I could continue to nurse Shorty #2.  Me and the SUPERMOMS weren’t really friends after that.

Take your daughter to work day - Shorty #1

Take your daughter to work day – Shorty #1

Its a juggle managing everything for sure, but all Moms are juggling no matter what their career path holds.  Its the expectation for Moms to be June Cleaver and Hillary Clinton that makes it so hard.  Loving our kids and living our lives as an example is all we can do!

Feb 7

Grammy Ins-N-Outs

Grammy Awards DIY Hair & Make-Up

Grammy Awards DIY Hair & Make-Up

It’s Grammy week and that usually means a significant amount of frenzied chaos around the office as anyone with an artist playing a role in the show is in a manic state of preparation.  With nominations announced only mere weeks ahead of the show and invitations to present and perform following after, its always a bit of a mad dash to coordinate with military precision all the required to’ing and fro’ing that comes with Awards show territory.

The Grammys are a complicated manoeuvre.  When an artist is thrust under a microscope for their 30 second – 3 minute appearance, on stage where every last detail from what they say to how they look is scrutinized by the media and any douchebag with a Twitter account, there are a lot of details to take into account – wardrobe, hair and make-up, arrival strategy, performance plans, etc etc.  There’s a lot that happens to prep for the big day.

Now, what happens on the ground is a whole different thing.  I’ve been to the Grammys twice.  It was pretty amazing to see it all work.  I’m a nerd that’s done this management thing for a long time, so I found the whole production process and logistical side of the event really interesting.  Yes, roll your eyes – I am a total nerd.  Although, my twelve year old self was pretty excited about the whole thing and kept asking my thirty-something self if Duran Duran still came to these things.

Ok – now here’s where I shatter some images, so apologies in advance.  I think some people probably expect backstage at the Grammys to be a little Bacchanalian or something – champagne flowing, hookers and blowing.  But yeah, not so much… at least not all out where anyone can see it.  Hell – one time I was there, there were even Muppets backstage – Muppets I tell you.  That’s not the sex, drugs and rock and roll we all expect!  But it is interesting.  Was that Miley Cyrus eating a cupcake in a Herve Leger Bandage Dress?  (Lucky little thing – if that were me you would see the cupcake popping through the fabric!)  Was that J.Lo’s legendary butt walking past my eye level as I sat in the green room?  (Yep – and it was magnificent – good for her!)  Was that a size 40 Justin Bieber in a size 44 jacket or was that a waiter?  Was that Florence (as in + The Machine) peeing in the stall next me?  (Yep and  PS – for the record, I DID NOT fan girl her while we washed our hands side by side.  PPS – If you’re reading this Flo – I DO ❤ you.)

An LA King's Throne

An LA King’s Throne

Speaking of which, on one of my Grammy tours of duty I was 6 months pregnant with Shorty #2 (See previous blog post The Glow of Pregnancy to get an idea of how interesting that would have made that day at the office).  The artist I was with was set to perform on the telecast, so we were scheduled to be at the Staples Centre early the morning of the show for rehearsals and be there all day.  The Staples Centre is an arena – and a very big one at that. I should’ve worn roller skates or something to get around (yep – you are welcome for that visual!)  The talent wranglers (bless their cotton socks) took pity on me and helped me find all the hidden secret bathrooms.  I swear people were worried that I would go into labor in the green room!

After rehearsals, we ran to a nearby hotel to quickly change and doll up for the show.  I always love this part the best, hanging with the girls and our bestie the make-up artist, primping and preening.  My feet were so swollen and sore from getting around the arena I didn’t know how I would get into shoes, let alone those platform heels.  That was when I met my best pregnancy friend – MATERNITY SPANX.  Those things saved me!  It was unreal.  If you’re pregnant, go buy them, like now!  Plus they helped hide all the cookies I stole from craft services all day.

So as I tune into the show tonight, I think of my best Grammy memory.  We made it a bit of a tradition for our little Grammy team to hightail it before the show ended, ahead of the stadium traffic and hit the In-N-Out Burger on Sunset.   A pile of animal style cheeseburgers, fries and strawberry shakes were a great way to end a great day (and give us a base for great night – after parties!).  Now pass me another pair of Spanx!In-N-Out

In-N-Out
Feb 6

The Stand-Off

IMG_0916

Shorty #2 on the Time Out step.

Shorty #2 is only mere-months away from the dreaded terrible twos.  She’s always been strong-willed and lets say a bit naughty for lack of a better description.  A little mischievous perhaps.  Well, she’s taken to throwing her plate, food, cup etc when she’s unhappy with the progress of a meal.  Yes, Shorty #2 has always been a big fan of mealtime but lately when she wants to cut out of dinner early in favour of dessert she will sort of lose it.  J and I, while not huge disciplinarians – have to nip these shenanigans in the bud.  So we have resurrected the TIME OUT.

There are many schools of thought on the Time Out, but its worked pretty well in our house.  A little break on the step while we talk about what went wrong and what led to the mac and cheese hitting the ceiling.

Here’s how it went down.  Shorty #2 was done with her dinner and decided to throw her plate of chicken and rice across the room like it was a Frisbee.  “No thank you!” we cried.  “That’s not what we do with our plate!”  The tears began to flow and little #2 was ushered to the step for her first Time Out.

We sat down with her and explained again how this is “not what we do” blah blah blah.  She looked us in the eye penitent so we asked her “Are you ready to say sorry?”  She looked up, eyes glassy with tears and slowly but deliberately shook her head “no”.  Yep, Shorty #2 doesn’t ever say much – but she clearly knows how to say no.  So we sat her down again and explained that she couldn’t get up and finish the meal until she apologized.

Many minutes went by with wailing tears and foot stamping – we asked her again “Are you ready to say sorry?”  Again, she shook her head  “no”.  Now we were getting dangerously close to bed time and she wouldn’t give in.  I could not believe Shorty #2 could be this stubborn and that she would stay on the step for this long.

What do we do?  We CANNOT give in – if we do we’re done for.  It’ll be like Lord of the Flies and Shorties will rule the house!  So we sit her back down and try to ignore the ensuing tantrum, every now and again asking if she’s ready to apologize and always the same response – “no”.

Finally, a brain wave.  “Ok little one, if you are not able to say ‘sorry’ to Mama & Dada, maybe you can give us a kiss and hug instead.  She relented a little and gave me a hug.  “How about a kiss?”  She shook her head again!  But after a little more prompting, she at last gave in.

All forgiven, we returned to the table so she could finish her meal.  She sat in her high chair chomping away.  I asked her ” Can you say ‘sorry’?”  She looked me straight in the eye and said “Sorry”  then she sang it “Sooooorrrryyyy” chanting it over and over again.

Who knew that our kid was the David Geffen of time out negotiations!  She wasn’t prepared to give it all up, but she gave in a little so we felt like we were getting what we wanted.  In the end, she holds all the power.  Ack!  Don’t kid yourself, the kids will always rule the house.

Jan 25

The Glow of Pregnancy

Me at 3 months with Shorty #1

Me at 3 months with Shorty #1

As if!  Ok, I never glowed when I was pregnant.  Unless you count the night sweats at 3am!

I was out buying a baby shower gift for a very sweet friend expecting her first and I started thinking back to those days when I was big as a house.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my girls more than anything and the combined 18+ months carrying them was fully worth it.  But man, I was a BAAAAD pregnant person in so many ways.  Of course, I followed all the rules – no booze, no brie cheese, no sushi (no booze!!!).  I tried to eat right, get enough rest etc etc – but I was not one of those people who glowed.  I did not blossom into motherhood, I sort of squished into it.

First things first, I spent all nine months in a near constant state of panic.  Our generation of pregnant women are able to obtain information about said pregnancy 24-7.  We find out we’re pregnant 3 days before our period is even late.  We can Google any symptom, concern, ache, itch etc and get some diagnosis.  We can crowdsource our pregnancies for pete’s sake.  “When I pee 17 times a day it smells like lemon pledge” – pop that into ask.com and you’ll get 14 different responses.

User: MommyBrain

“Oh yeah, that happened to me, but it smelled like Chlorox”

User: GreenMommy

“You can’t use Chlorox its terrible for the environment”

User: MamaPanic

“Call your Doctor immediately, thats a sign of utter and imminent disaster”

The real answer here – Googling for medical advice is a terrible idea – ESPECIALLY when you’re hormonal.

The day Shorty #1 was born, I was so relieved that I could actually SEE her.  What happened next – for the past 6 years, I wake up at 2am, sneak into her room and make sure she’s breathing.  But at least I can check, right?

I had this rose-coloured view that pregnancy would be so amazing.  I would be mother earth incarnate in cute maternity dresses wrapped around my little basket-ball belly, doing pre-natal yoga classes each day and lunching with friends in the last days before babe was born.

Yeah, no.  Not really.  So here are some of the things that weren’t exactly what I expected while expecting…

1.  Maternity Clothes – trying to look like a beautiful, pregnant Gwen Stefani without the help of full-time stylist and glam squad is impossible.  Gwen Stefani’s maternity clothes are not what’s available at the local mall.  The maternity clothes that you can find would be more akin to styles preferred by your grade six English teacher.  And WHY do all pairs of maternity jeans have to include studs and sequins?  WHY?  And don’t give me that business you can maternity COH or J Brand.  Yes, you can get those – but good luck fitting into those puppies at 6 months (ok, for me I couldn’t squeeze into them after my first trimester!)  To add insult to injury, when I hit the 9 month mark I was lucky if I could find a maternity top to cover my behemoth belly!

2. Pre-Natal Yoga – this humbled me.  After 5 minutes into my first pre-natal yoga class I rolled my eyes and thought – this is lame.  I won’t even feel this after 45 minutes.  10 minutes later I was on my back in reclined mountain, sweaty and puffing and stayed there for the rest of the class.  That was the first and LAST pre-natal yoga class for me.

3. Ignorance is Bliss – As mentioned, I lived through my pregnancies in a constant state of panic.  I am an avid worrier by nature – but this was on a whole other level.  In some ways, I wish I had never read all those creepy pregnancy books that tell you what to worry about.  My Mom had 4 kids and she barely batted an eye – and we were all fine!

4. Being Pregnant Gives People License to Boss You Around.  Seriously, the minute you start to show get ready for the onslaught of unsolicited advice from complete strangers.  This doesn’t even begin to compare however to the instructions strangers will dole out to a new Mom – but that’s another Blog.

Hang in there preggo readers.  Don’t worry if you’re not the Drew Barrymore of pregnancy.  And don’t worry if you don’t look like Gisele Bundchen at 4 weeks post partum!  Once your little bundle arrives – its all a distant memory.

XO

Jan 17

What Do You Do?

A common question.  When we meet someone new, we ask the question “What do you do?” Its interesting phrasing, isn’t it?  I “do” lots of things.  But the reality is that this question is a perfect fit for me.  What I do for a living is an integral part of who I am and what I do.  My job is a lifestyle choice as much as a career choice.

Where it gets tricky is actually explaining what I do.  My Mom likes to explain it as “She’s so-and-so’s people.”  As in “have your people call my people and we’ll do lunch.”  That’s close, but I prefer to use the hub of the wheel analogy.

I am a manager.  I work with international recording artists, managing all aspects of their career.  If you place the artist in the centre of the wheel, the manager is the hubcap surrounding them and the spokes that feed into the hub are the other aspects of their career – touring, recording, label, publishing, endorsements etc.

Artists work around the clock, which means I do too.  Artists travel a lot, which means I do too.

I’m also a Mom.  See above and replace “manager” with the word “mom” and replace the spokes of the wheel with;  school, playmates, doctors, lessons etc.

Kids need attention around the clock, but the good news is that kids don’t travel that much on their own.

I guess being a manager is good training ground for being a mom.  The Momager handle is a reference to that and NOT some f^&%ed up Hollywood Stage Parent.  (I won’t mention them by name, they don’t need any additional SEO assistance.)

So that’s me, in a nutshell (“how do I get out of this nutshell?” – sorry couldn’t resist the Austin Powers reference).  I felt like it was important to share all that with you so you get the context of this blog and my just ok juggling skills.

So. What do YOU do?

PS – My Mom said I need to put some sex in the blog to keep people interested.  SOME SEX.  There you go Mom.  Hopefully that helps my SEO!

Jan 16

A New Year

Every December 31, we join with friends, family, loved ones and plan a fresh start for the New Year.  Lose weight, break bad habits, create good habits, make some sort of change.  The trick to all of this is how we feel on January 31.

Like many new mom’s my list is not all that inventive – lose that last 10 lbs of baby weight, eat better, exercise, spend more time on educational pursuits with the kids etc.  Its funny though how in this process I seem to have found another resolution for 2013 – to rediscover me.

The past 7 years have been incredible – the arrival of two shorties has made our family a home.  We are blessed by these two little ones that amaze us with personality traits so like our own yet personas so clearly unique.  Over the past 7 years, my career has grown by leaps and bounds and I am grateful for the opportunities and experiences I’ve had in this time – lots of good, some bad but a bucket load of learning.  The only concern is that juggling 2 kids, a home and a blossoming career can be a feat!  Managing the time for all of this means the things I like to do in my spare time have fallen by the wayside.

Cue the eye roll for all other Mom’s out there.  I know, I know – wah wah wah.  ALL Mom’s without exception face this no matter what.  Life changes after kids, no doubt about it.  So this is not a complaint but more a realization of how much simple pleasure I was able to get from a yoga class or a date night on the mountain skiing with my Love.

As laying in reclined mountain pose in said yoga class, it hit me.  My demanding career and busy family life is a priority – but making some time for these little things for me can actually make me a better Mom, Manager, Momager.

Revolutionary thinking this is not, I realize.  But it is revolutionary for me.  So away we go with the intention that the resolutions of 2013 including the most recent addition to the list become the norm.