Category Archives: Women in the Workforce

Nov 26

Um… Euw…

vectorstock_102612I was at the check out at Whole Foods last night unpacking the cart.  I could feel eyes on me from all sides.  Most notably from the new mom ahead of  me in the line.  She was peeking over the downy head of her little one, nestled in his carrier.  She wore the look of terror when and quickly moved her had to the top of her son’s head.  I was unpacking piles of Lice Off.  Oh yes!  This is the equivalent of the Mom Walk of Shame.

Poor #1.  She started skating lessons through school, which she loves.  We sent her in with a bike helmet to wear on the ice but unbeknownst to us – this was not okay and they made her wear one of the arena issued hockey helmets which was clearly home to some… critters.

We have dodged the lice bullet a bunch of times.  Any time we received the notice home that lice was in the classroom we mobilized the troops into a diligent routine of hair combing, spraying, braiding and googling for anything new that might repel the little buggers.  But not this time, no – we were completely caught off guard.  So when we discovered poor Shorty itching away and the little stowaways that had set up camp in her long locks, we packed off to Whole Foods to buy as many remedies as we could get our hands on.

We’ll file this under the “Never A Dull Moment” of parenting.  We discovered Shorty’s infestation at 7pm on Sunday night.  I was just home from a 10 day trip overseas and was crazy jet-lagged.  J and I moved into hyperdrive – changing sheets, bagging stuffed toys, running pillows through the dryer, combing everyone to see who else might be subjected to this brand of horror.  Fun times.  By 10:30pm, we fell into bed scratching psychosomatically.  The good news is that so far (touch wood), poor #1 is the only victim of the dreaded louse!

Back to the Walk of Shame.  I remember being that Mom, watching another Mom unloading the goods.  Judging, worrying that I (or worse my kids) would be infested simply by proximity.  Now, I know better and will be sure to share some sympathy for my harried counterpart who is heading into the trenches of lice eradication.  Be vigilant my friends, because you too can fall prey to these tiny vermin!

For more information about Head Lice Treatment and Prevention visit Health Link BC.

 

Nov 21

Life on the Road

I’m writing to you today from Kowloon, overlooking Victoria Harbour with the Hong Kong skyline as the perfect backdrop.  I’ve been on the road for over a week now on an around the world tour it seems.  Started in Vancouver, stopped in London for 4 days and am now in Hong Kong before I head home in just two more sleeps!

Life on the road is a very interesting parallel universe.  You can get used to the cushy treatment and rockstar amenities.  But its certainly a little weird.  Sure, its definitely glamorous jetting into a world class city and being whisked into fantastic hotels with local hosts striving to keep you happy.  The truth is that running around this alternate reality has its downside – especially as the traveling Mom.  I hear all your eyes rolling all the way over here in Asia.  “wahhhh poor you, R&R Mom.”  I recognize that this is a very ass-y thing to say.  I GET it!!!  Believe me, I am exceedingly grateful for all these incredible chances to see this amazing world and work withs some fantastic people along the way.  But being away from the Shorties and J is gut wrenching.

Thank Steve Jobs for FaceTime.  It makes it so much easier to be able to lay eyes on my loves.  Its no substitute for cuddles but being able to see each other is a godsend no matter how long the trip.  But time zones are a killer.  Inevitably, the moment I’m free for a chat its bath/ bed/ meal time at home so my call only adds to the chaos.  Not to mention the great fun of FaceTiming with little shorties who are far more interested in how they look in the picture.  They are like miniature Paris Hilton’s only rather than preening at their own image are zooming in on their eyeballs, sharing the half-chewed pizza in their mouths or shaking their butts at the camera (well, I guess this last one Paris Hilton would do too).

And forget about actually catching up with your partner on the call.  These little narcissists hold a tight grip on the technology, monopolizing the conversation with silly noises, singing and quite often burps.  Mom & Dad are NOT getting a word in edgewise.  You’re lucky to have a quiet second to get through the necessary day to day business of the household (did you remember that today is garbage day?) let alone actually sharing an intimate moment or at the VERY least “how are you doing”.

Miss this guy!

Miss this guy!

These are hard moments.  When hearts ache to connect with the loves and it just can’t happen.  So back we go into the isolation of the dark, too cold (or too hot) hotel room to bury yourself in emails and work mode.  Whether its a 2 day trip or 2 week trip this happens and it just is what it is.

The good news is that I can start counting the hours when I’ll see those bright little faces (and a bright bigger face) at the arrivals area in the airport and can go back to the real world.  Changing diapers, wiping noses and cozy snuggles.  I would take that over a 5 star hotel any day!

... and these two too.

… and these two too.

Nov 4

I’m Baaaaack!

Um, no thanks...

Um, no thanks…

Oh, hi.  Yeah, its been a while.  With heartfelt apologies, the past 6 weeks have been something of a blur.  In no particular order I have traveled to LA, London, Oslo, Lisbon, Amsterdam (well just a layover), NY (twice) and Toronto.  I have also moved house and juggled a two week span in which our poor Nanny was off sick.  I have successfully navigated the past six weeks WITHOUT suffering a nervous breakdown.  Almost, but not quite.  WINNING!!!!

The craziness is set to continue for a while longer but you’ll get no complaints here.  Sure, I am leaving my toiletry bag packed and my lipstick lives in a ziploc bag in my purse these days – but how can I complain?  Its been great fun following the Foxes around the world (PS – if you know what they say then mission accomplished).  The biggest downside is being away from my own little Foxes (and Mr. Fox of course), but they seem to be enjoying the Daddy time and steady stream of guilt driven toys brought home as souvenirs.

Sure, I feel the judgmental glares from the Supermoms.  I am conspicuous in my absence.  But I keep reminding myself that this much hectic business travel is (a) temporary, (b) fun and (c) ultimately good for everyone in our house.  Luckily, they are all Fox fans so they don’t seem to mind me going off to fight for the cause.

These days we are most grateful for our Moms, Sisters, grocery delivery and the deep freeze.  After a recent whirlwind promo trip with 18 hour press days, I came home with so much adrenaline pumping I couldn’t stop.  In addition to the several loads of laundry, we cooked pots of stew and pasta sauce to freeze for J to easily whip up for les petites for the next time I would be on the road.  Why won’t anyone in this house eat a casserole?  The perfect meal in one pan… if only they weren’t so gross!

The thing when you’re on the road this much is you start to forget where you are.  Beyond just the middle of the night wake-up – this happened in the airport the other day.  For a fleeting moment, I couldn’t remember where I was going!  I need an app that will remind me of my hotel room number.  Never mind jetlag – no time for that!  That’s why I invested in the YSL Touche Eclat to make me look much less sleep deprived than I actually am.

The next few months promise a continually hectic schedule, so I hope to be able to post as much as I can.  But in the meantime, its freezer filling, touche eclat wearing, ziploc bag toting time!  Who can complain about that?

Sep 24

What the Fox!

Hi!  I wanted to apologize for the long stretch of radio silence.  Looks like it will be a little while before I can get back to posting as I’d like.  A little career fun is adding to the chaos and I’m working around the clock.  I promise to get back to posting once the dust settles.

xoxoxo

Something every busy working woman needs. A place to put your phone when you pee....

Something every busy working woman needs. A place to put your phone when you pee….

Sep 14

Dear Shorty #2

Sleepyhead

Sleepyhead

Dear #2:

Its amazing to me how big you are getting.  You seem to be growing up so quickly.  While we’re on the subject of maturing, could you do me a favor and speed through this thing called sleep regression?  I’m a little wiped out already, but the 2am – 3am wake-up every night is getting a little old and frankly its not doing either of us any favors.  Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE the middle of the night cuddles.  Its the early morning toes digging in my back and elbows in my face that I can do without.

Could you work on the whole “sleeping through the night thing” again so we both can make it through the day?  You see, you’re the lucky one.  You can shut it down for naptime by 11:30am, but I on the other hand am a little busy working for a living to keep a roof over our heads and its somewhat frowned upon in our office for employees to pass out at their desks.

Soooo, if you could work on this for me I’d really appreciate it.  If you can swing it, we’ll be sure to take this into consideration in about 13 years when you’re looking for a later curfew, a raise in your allowance or some new fangled personal electronic device that hasn’t been invented yet.

Thanks in advance for your assistance with this matter.

Love,

Mama

Sep 4

The Most Awful Time of the Year

Shorty #1 selects some Coachella inspired headgear for her first day back to school.

Shorty #1 selects some Coachella inspired headgear for her first day back to school.

Labor Day.  Ugh.  What a crummy holiday.  A holiday that celebrates labor should have better name.  Labor and Holiday – bit of an oxymoron, isn’t it?  Holiday Day would be so much better.

My disdain for Labor Day is really more about the meaning of this date on the calendar; end of summer, back to school, no more white pants (and I just got a great pair of white CoH jeans on sale!).  I hate holidays that signal the end of something like New Years Eve or even Sunday Evenings.  Yes yes yes, I hear all you positive, glass is half full, lemonade drinkers out there.  These endings all herald in a new beginning – a new week, a new grade a new year, an opportunity for a fresh start.  Sure, this is true but sometimes we aren’t ready for things to end.

I spent my Labor Day tidying out closets and bedrooms, writing names in labels and packing school bags to get everyone ready to go back to the daily routine of school days.  The sleepy whining, lunch packing and frantic nagging all working towards a crescendo as the clock ticks faster and faster to 9am.  I envy those Moms arriving at the school well before the bell rings, calm and peaceful.  Have they given their kids a Xanax as they woke up and lead them in a drug induced stupor to the classroom door?  I’m sure they haven’t but c’mon, what’s the secret?  I’m usually speed walking through the halls, hair wet and a conference call waiting, all the while encouraging (read: speaking firmly… ok, yelling) Shorty #1 to speed it up.

This is always the most amazing thing to me each morning.  Why is it always such a surprise that we need to eat breakfast, put on shoes (really!) and remember school bags before we head out the door?  Like we don’t need to do these things EVERY morning.  Like the routine is COMPLETELY DIFFERENT every day?  Really?  No seriously, really?

As Labor Day heralds in the new school year with all the promise of a bright future, with young shining faces eager to embrace learning, this Mother secretly cries for the lost summer and morning routines that included cartoons in bed!

Aug 28

Its 9am. Do You Know Where Your Kids Are?

Childcare.  It makes me CRAZY.  I don’t know if its ‘cos we live in a big city or if its just my bad luck.  But man, its been hard.  Really hard.

We were lucky, we had a blessed two year reprieve from childcare woes when we found our beloved nanny, H.  She was (is) amazing and truly became an honorary member of our little family.  She was offered a great job abroad and we were happy for her to follow her passion, but we were sad to see her go.

So here we are back in the muck, fighting for good childcare options.  You see in this town, daycare spaces are few and far between.  You literally have to put your kid on waitlists in utero.  Seriously.  I did this.  For weeks, I filled in application forms and sent off cheques to cover administration fees.  Once Shorty #1 was born and my return to work was 3 months in sight, I started calling around to check our waitlist positions.  328, 127, 222 – we were miles from the finish line.  And then just as despair was setting in, #30.  We were close, with 3 months to go surely a spot could/ would open for us.  Next month I save myself the heartache and called this one centre to find out we were now #128.  What.  The.  F%^&.  Are you kidding me?  How did we go down?  So after writing a scathing email and requesting a refund of my paltry $10, I set off to explore other options.

We ended up with a disastrous combo of a nanny share where the other Mom was a nightmare and a home daycare situation with a woman who ended up being completely nuts.  She actually hurt our kid to teach her a lesson about biting.  (I know I can sometimes embellish for comedic effect – but this actually happened, in 2008, in Canada – I am not kidding).

Finally we ended up in a great daycare that was our home away from home (and still is).

When #2 was on her way, we decided that the smart thing to do was hire a full time Nanny.  This is when H arrived on the scene and saved the day!  All was great for 2 years, until our dear H moved on.

Here’s where things get interesting…

Enter the new Nanny.  At first she was great.  We thought she was amazing.  Kids liked her, she seemed sweet.  Then one day she texted (texted!) to say she wouldn’t be coming in for a week (!) because her son was sick in the hospital.  Three days later we realized she was in Vegas and hadn’t learned that you should log out of your Facebook account when you’re using your boss’ iPad.  We sent her a lovely email telling her she was terminated effective immediately and oh yeah, could she put $10 on red for us?

So we are back on the hunt.  My stress level is high.  We’ll keep you posted and wish us luck.  We need it… again!

Jul 18

Mommy Brain Attacks

vectorstock_2538

Yes it does, when you least expect it.  The phenomenon known as Mommy Brain can be defined as the degradation of one’s short term (and sometimes long term) memory following the birth of children.  Its real.  Make no mistake about it, I’ve experienced it first hand.

Before the arrival of Shorty #1, I didn’t even need to keep a calendar.  Important dates and appointments were entrenched in my little brain like a photograph.  But now, its a whole different story.  Everything goes on my Google calendar which J and I share and (thanks to my favorite Nerd husband) is colour coded for each of our family members.  I need this.  Trust me.

The arrival of Mommy Brain along with #1 came as a real shock.  As you now know, I am a type-A personality.  I like to be organized and keep everything together.  But the capacity to fulfill even the simplest tasks, let alone remembering appointments was degraded completely from a combination of sleep deprivation and crazy hormone imbalance.

I remember one foggy morning attempting to make a pot of coffee, I filled the machine with water and grounds and walked away.   A little while later I heard a weird hissing sound.  Yep, the pot was still sitting on the counter while the black gold was pouring out of the machine all down the front of the cupboard door.  Awesome!  Its still stained to this day.  I don’t know if I was more upset about the mess or actually having to wait for another pot to brew.  Another time, catching up with J listening to him recount his day at the office I actually wiped his nose with a tissue.  Are you freaking kidding me?  I just wiped a grown man’s nose.  Get a grip sister!

#2 is now 2 years old and I wish I could say it was getting better. Maybe it has a little, but we are definitely nowhere near the pre-natal levels of brain function.  To be honest, I think that even though the sleep is getting better and the hormones are re-balancing, the hectic pace of daily life creates the same issues.  Just the other day after the usual crazy morning of getting everyone dressed, fed etc I realized as I arrived at the office that I had left my beloved cellphone on the kitchen table at home and had to go all the way back home to fetch it.

At least I knew where the phone was!  Last week we were hosting a BBQ and Shorty #2’s diaper leaked… while sitting on my lap.  I came in from the backyard to change us both and dropped my sunglasses somewhere.  Couldn’t find them for days.  Made me crazy.  Eventually I found them on a shelf in the closet, obviously left there during my wardrobe change.

I wish I could say the kids help ease the problem, but seriously I swear they like to f%^$ with me.  On a recent vacation, I swore I packed a pair of flip flops and they were missing.  I was sure I was losing my mind only to find them tucked away in the hotel room safe – courtesy of Shorty #2.

So to all my harried friends out there juggling a million things, know you’re not alone when your memory fails and your brain gives up on you!  XO

Jul 8

The Glamour of International Business Travel

vectorstock_192881

If you’re a regular at The Rock and Roll Mom, you know I have to travel a fair bit on business.  So I’ve seen my fair share of travel drama.  Its inevitable really.  Rarely does any amount of travel go by completely without a hitch when flying is concerned, especially when you throw in a connection or two to make things interesting.  If you’ve been reading my blog you’ll also know that I’m not a carry-on only sort of girl so throw in a piece of luggage or two and you’ve got the potential for a perfect storm!

With the Shorties, my goal is to always be gone for the least amount of time possible.  This often means taking some pretty crazy travel options to be able to get home as soon as I can.  I’m most proud of my New York for the day trips.  With the help of Cathay Pacific, I can leave Vancouver at 10pm, land at New York JFK at 6am.  Take a car into the city, have a quick shower and then hit the ground running with a day full of meetings, press or even a TV taping (luckily the late night shows usually tape around 4-6pm).  Then I head back to JFK around 8pm to fly back to Vancouver on the red-eye arriving at 2am.  I can sleep in my own bed for a few hours before the kids wake-up.  Genius!  I love it!

But you know, life isn’t always so simple.  Throw in a delay or two and the best laid plans go out the window.  I had one particularly harrowing adventure as I was heading to NYC for a major, 2 day press hit for a news magazine show for one of our clients.  This time I was routed through Toronto.  Some nasty weather in Vancouver delayed our departure and I missed the connection to NYC.  I had a very early start the next morning in NYC with an interview scheduled to take place in my hotel suite.  Luckily I was rebooked on a flight leaving Toronto at 6am.  No problem!  My bag went missing at this point so I was sent off to the hotel with a “Comfort Kit” consisting of a size XL men’s t-shirt, some shaving cream and men’s deodorant around 2am.  After a couple of hours of sleep (if you can call it that) I packed on back to the check-in counter, smelling like a dude in yesterday’s stinking, sweaty airplane clothes.  Luckily my bag was there and rechecked and I was off.

Arriving in NYC at 7am I headed into the city with the rest of the rush hour traffic.  I raced up to my room to shower off the eau de Dude and rinse out my sweaty bra in the sink.  Just as I put down the curling iron the camera crew arrived to set up.  I wrung out my laundry from the sink (I always travel with laundry detergent for moments such as this) and much to my horror realized this hotel room did not have a closet, just a wide open rack to hang clothes.  I found a little perch in the corner of the room to lay my old bra to dry behind the suitcase.  At this point, the crew had effectively taken over my suite – cameramen, producer, lighting and audio guys, publicists – and horror of horrors the esteemed journalist who would conduct the interview had moved a chair to that exact corner of this vast 2 room suite and was now resting his feet next to my dripping bra.  Lovely!

Another time, I was pregnant with Shorty #2.  We were doing a shoot for a TV commercial in Buenos Aires.  It was January so in the dead of the Argentine summer.  I was routed from Vancouver to Toronto, Toronto to Santiago, Chile and then finally Santiago to Buenos Aires.  After landing in Buenos Aires I had that horrible sinking feeling that can only come when you are the last person standing at a an empty baggage carousel, watching the same remnants of packing tape and yarn go round and round, ever hopeful that by some miracle your bag will appear from nowhere.  It was not be, I was 5 months pregnant and I had an early meeting with ad agency the next morning!  The next flight from Toronto wasn’t arriving for at least another 24 hours!  Luckily, shopping malls in Buenos Aires are open at 8pm on a Sunday night!!!  The lovely production assistant took pity on me and brought me to the nearest mall where I managed to scrounge together a wardrobe for the next couple days.  I almost kissed the bellman who arrived the following evening with my bag in hand.

Sprinting through airports to make connections, facing full security patdowns (like can I have a cigarette afterwards kind of patdowns), neverending waits for delayed flights, lost (and found) luggage.  All par for the course when you travel.  On my last trip as I stared down an air-traffic control strike that started while I was en route, I just kept thinking “Oh well, maybe there’s a blog post in all this…”  Looks like there was.

Jun 28

Success

How do you measure success?  Is success attainable?  Once you’ve obtained success – is that it or are we constantly moving those goal posts?  Its a tough concept and is so often perceived as the root to happiness.  At one point are we content with what we have achieved?

I feel like my life has always been in pursuit of more.  Bigger, better… more.  I can’t say its a bad thing.  I could rest on my laurels at any point and say “there I’ve done it” – nabbed that client, achieved that promotion, started a family etc.  But I can’t – I am always striving for more.  Whether that’s a good thing is tough to say.  Am I putting too much pressure on myself to achieve?  Am I creating stress in my life in not settling for what I have already?  Sure, I guess that’s always the case.

Now get ready – are you sitting down?  Here’s where I get all existential on your poor ass.  I think this is the meaning of life.  Simply put – experience.  Learning more, striving for more, feeling more.  Its all a spiritual education and experience is the teacher.

When I think about life this way, I feel more open to whatever is thrown my way.  Good or bad – this is just further education.  Take from it what you can – learn from mistakes, learn from triumphs.  It certainly makes things easier to handle when taking this view.

And achieving SUCCESS is simply striving to learn more.  Happiness is enjoying the process.

PS – this one is for you Maman!