Since crossing the threshold into 40, regularly scheduled maintenance is something I’ve had to focus on a little more. There is a lot of mileage on this body (not that kind of mileage you perv… well, maybe a little of that kind) and once you complete the 4th decade, it definitely needs more attention than it used to.
Post baby body has been a real eye opener. After the arrival of Shorty #1 there was a drastic and clear difference in the bounce back. But once Shorty #2 arrived on the scene – and I was entering my 40th year – it was a wake up call that we were now well past the point of no return. In addition to the major lifestyle changes to help take off the accumulated baby weight, the hair was just a little greyer, the skin a little looser and the fine lines and wrinkles just a little more prominent. Ok – maybe it was a lot more of an issue than I care to admit, but there was no more avoiding it. Its was time to start a maintenance plan.
The real issue here is when. With 2 kids, a busy career and a silly travel schedule – how am I supposed to find 2+ hours to sit in a salon for a lube, oil and dye job? I mean, its a necessity so I find a way. But its not easy.
I know this is only the start as I begin the investment into middle age. The creams and lotions and elixirs and serums (Why is it called a serum? It sounds like some potion created by an evil villain to transform all the villagers into mindless slaves.) all ringing in at literally hundreds of dollars an ounce. All claiming to deliver the fountain of youth and literally erase the signs of aging. FYI – NONE of them really work. Sure they work for a while, but it never lasts. So its really just cash down the drain. Hydration is the only thing that really helps. Right cosmetic companies? That’s the real truth isn’t it? Genetics and hydration.
Even Botox only lasts for a while. The only permanent solution is going under the knife but that scares the living shit out of me.
So I’ll stick with the dye job, send gratitude to the side of the family that gave me youthful looking chubby cheeks and curse the side that gave me these new jowls.