Holy Shit!

So, you may recall that we are deep into Potty Training time with Shorty #2.  We were on a roll, it was going great.  Until tonight.  Tonight we suffered… a set back.  A small set back.  Ok, it was more like one small setback and another, well, much larger set back.

You can picture it.  A lovely long weekend getaway.  A nice dinner in a sweet local restaurant.  Dappled sunshine reflecting off the crystal, jazz playing in the background, a nice wine ordered.  #2 fresh from a nap, a swim and a bath ready to face the evening as she had many times before.  The only difference this time is that she was diaperless.  All was going swimmingly until #2 had a little accident.  #2 had a #2.  No harm, no foul.  We swept her up into the restaurant loo for a quick clean up and wardrobe change and no one was the wiser.

The dinner carried on.  Lovely, delicious, delightful.  Everyone laughing and enjoying.  Our girls befriended the other little girls at the next table and they had fun playing tag on the patio and through the gardens.  All fine until #2 came running over to me with a look of horror in her eyes.  “Mama, I gotta poo.”  “Hold it!” I cried.  But it was too late.  Way too late.

This wasn’t just a poop accident.  This was like a “Night of the Living Dead” sort of explosion.  Poop everywhere.  J scooped her up to rush her into the bathroom, poop dropping everywhere.  I was like the “Cleaner” from Pulp Fiction – trying to erase all the evidence, the poop that had dropped out of #2’s skirt all over the patio floor, before any of the other diners had noticed.

cleaner

Yeah, they noticed.  By the time we all returned to the table with the now-fresh-as-a-daisy-thanks-to-the-WHOLE-pack-of-Huggies-wipes Shorty #2, all eyes were on us.  I tried to smile and keep up a brave face, but as the aforementioned kids from the other table were herded back to the side of their “single-child” parents with their judgy eyes pointed in our direction, I could hear the disdain in their eye-rolls;  “I would never let my kid poop in such a fine restaurant!” and “That will NEVER happen to me.”  I’m here to prove that this was one of those days where what I wanted, preferred or felt was the cool or OK was NOT in the cards.  I had no control in this situation and neither will you Judgy Judgersons!  It  was time to make a quick exit.  You just try and keep up a brave face in moments such as these.  “Yes, my kid just SHAT on your patio and we’ll have another bottle of that pinot noir.”   Needless to say, we tipped VERY well and hightailed it out of there.

Maybe next time we’ll just get a sitter…

A Free (Wo)Man in Paris

Me and J beneath Charlamagne by Shorty #1

Me and J beneath Charlamagne by Shorty #1

We went to Paris last week.  Me, J and the Shorties.  I was excited by the prospect of showing them the City of Light and for a chance to be in Paris with plenty of free time to explore. It was an adventure.

We had been warned that perhaps a European sojourn was not exactly THE holiday for a young family, but an opportunity arose and the airmiles were cashed in and we decided to take a chance, win a prize (in the words of my poetic husband).   You know what, we totally won.  It wasn’t awful, it wasn’t boring and we were not in the least bit disappointed.  But we did learn a few things along the way…

1. International Air Travel in the days of personal screens, iPads etc can actually be pretty manageable.  Just don’t expect Les Petites to like the airplane food, even if it is the children’s meal.

2. Jetlag is a nightmare.  No way around that.  So just accept that for the first few days you may be sleeping the day away, so embrace the night.

3. Sort out your local transportation.  Paris is best explored on foot, except when you’re rolling with a 2 and 7 year old.  Various transport devices for the Shorties was the only way to go.  Stroller, carrier and scooter gave us options for them to move around and still be able to walk for miles.

4. Bribery is awesome.  Nothing like a macaron at the end of a long trip to convince La Petite to carry on.

Shorty #2 enjoys a proper chocolate eclair and wonders if she's found poo inside... Tres charmant!

Shorty #2 enjoys a proper chocolate eclair and wonders if she’s found poo inside… Tres charmant!

5. Don’t expect them to be fascinated by all the incredible art and history around you.  Rather let them be fascinated by the things that they find amazing.  Case in point, we took a trip to Versailles.  Shorty #2 was fast asleep on my back (NOTE: they do NOT allow strollers in the Palace – that was an AWESOME discovery as we reached the front of the line) and #1 was walking along the tour with us.  I gave her the task of counting all the suns she could see (good on Louis XIV for picking an emblem that’s easy to spot and placing it everywhere in the palace, thanks for that dude) but by the time we reached the Hall of Mirrors she was done.  “I’m bored” followed quickly by “I’m tired”  and then followed by “Can we GOOOOOO”.  It was the moment we had been waiting for on the tour and she decided now was the time to fall to pieces.  Luckily the Hall is filled with statues in various states of undress.  The Sun count very quickly became the Weiner count.  She laughed through the whole thing counting penises on the statues and every little naked cherub in the room.  I was pretty grateful for that revelation!

So the moral of this story – be brave, go with the flow and enjoy the moment.  By embracing the simple things on our trip we were able to experience Paris and actually have a great time as a family.

The Shorties at Place des Voges

The Shorties at Place des Voges

Vacation’s All I Ever Wanted, Vacation Time to Get Away

Sorry for the radio silence.  The Rock and Roll Mom has been on a little summer holiday.  Was it fun?  Ummmmm, yeah.  Sorta.  Traveling with the Shorties is always an adventure so if you look at it like that, yeah, it was fun.

We flew across the country for a long weekend to hit up a major family reunion.  One hundred odd relatives collected in a campground.  The Shorties were in heaven… Then we flew all the way back across the country, packed up the car and drove 5 hours to the interior of BC (all in the same 18 hour travel day).  Thank God it was wine country!

The Shorties on Vacation

The Shorties on Vacation

The Okanagan Valley is a great place and worth another post for travel tips and suggestions.  This was a more tame visit as we stuck close to the pool in the 35 C degree heat.

So in a blink, our vacation adventure is now behind us and we’re back home staring down the barrel of back to school and the onset of fall aka the rainy season.  We managed to make decent time on the drive home and I successfully unpacked all the bags and did the groceries so we are well poised to get back in the swing of things.

I promise that blog-writing will be on the to do list now that we are home.

XO