Mercury in Retrograde? WTF?

Enough with all the "Retrograde" action.  Thanks Mercury, you're great.

Enough with all the “Retrograde” action. Thanks Mercury, you’re great.

Ok – is it just me, or is this whole “Mercury in Retrograde” something new?  Yeah, yeah, I know its not NEW NEW.  Maybe its just life in the era of social media that I just feel like I’m hearing about it all the time.  Seriously, up until like a year ago I never really knew what the deal was with Mercury – but now it seems like every 8-12 weeks we’re being warned to gird our loins in anticipation of some f&*ked up planetary alignment thingy that’s going to wreak total havoc on all the important stuff we have to do for the next month or so.

A friend wrote on Facebook recently “I wish I never knew about Mercury”  and I think she has a point.  Is it like a placebo effect.  Maybe I am programming things to go wrong during these dark times on the astrological calendar just because I am expecting that they will?   Or is the shit truly hitting the fan because of the stars.  Who’s right?  Hell, how am I supposed to know.  But I’ll tell you, the last 3 times I’ve known about Mercury being Retrograde, its been a bit of hairy ride.  All sorts of crazy things as simple as messed up paperwork at the office to collapsed real estate deals have gone down while Mercury has been Retrograding.

Truthfully – what the hell is retrograde anyways? Does it meant that Mercury is really into John Hughes movies and Duran Duran?  That would really suck to have a real estate deal collapse because of Duran Duran.  Stop living in the past Mercury so I can get my shit together NOW (and not in like 10 days from now).  I’m too busy for your shenanigans!

Perhaps ignorance can be bliss, don’t you think?

 

 

Grammy Ins-N-Outs

Grammy Awards DIY Hair & Make-Up

Grammy Awards DIY Hair & Make-Up

It’s Grammy week and that usually means a significant amount of frenzied chaos around the office as anyone with an artist playing a role in the show is in a manic state of preparation.  With nominations announced only mere weeks ahead of the show and invitations to present and perform following after, its always a bit of a mad dash to coordinate with military precision all the required to’ing and fro’ing that comes with Awards show territory.

The Grammys are a complicated manoeuvre.  When an artist is thrust under a microscope for their 30 second – 3 minute appearance, on stage where every last detail from what they say to how they look is scrutinized by the media and any douchebag with a Twitter account, there are a lot of details to take into account – wardrobe, hair and make-up, arrival strategy, performance plans, etc etc.  There’s a lot that happens to prep for the big day.

Now, what happens on the ground is a whole different thing.  I’ve been to the Grammys twice.  It was pretty amazing to see it all work.  I’m a nerd that’s done this management thing for a long time, so I found the whole production process and logistical side of the event really interesting.  Yes, roll your eyes – I am a total nerd.  Although, my twelve year old self was pretty excited about the whole thing and kept asking my thirty-something self if Duran Duran still came to these things.

Ok – now here’s where I shatter some images, so apologies in advance.  I think some people probably expect backstage at the Grammys to be a little Bacchanalian or something – champagne flowing, hookers and blowing.  But yeah, not so much… at least not all out where anyone can see it.  Hell – one time I was there, there were even Muppets backstage – Muppets I tell you.  That’s not the sex, drugs and rock and roll we all expect!  But it is interesting.  Was that Miley Cyrus eating a cupcake in a Herve Leger Bandage Dress?  (Lucky little thing – if that were me you would see the cupcake popping through the fabric!)  Was that J.Lo’s legendary butt walking past my eye level as I sat in the green room?  (Yep – and it was magnificent – good for her!)  Was that a size 40 Justin Bieber in a size 44 jacket or was that a waiter?  Was that Florence (as in + The Machine) peeing in the stall next me?  (Yep and  PS – for the record, I DID NOT fan girl her while we washed our hands side by side.  PPS – If you’re reading this Flo – I DO ❤ you.)

An LA King's Throne

An LA King’s Throne

Speaking of which, on one of my Grammy tours of duty I was 6 months pregnant with Shorty #2 (See previous blog post The Glow of Pregnancy to get an idea of how interesting that would have made that day at the office).  The artist I was with was set to perform on the telecast, so we were scheduled to be at the Staples Centre early the morning of the show for rehearsals and be there all day.  The Staples Centre is an arena – and a very big one at that. I should’ve worn roller skates or something to get around (yep – you are welcome for that visual!)  The talent wranglers (bless their cotton socks) took pity on me and helped me find all the hidden secret bathrooms.  I swear people were worried that I would go into labor in the green room!

After rehearsals, we ran to a nearby hotel to quickly change and doll up for the show.  I always love this part the best, hanging with the girls and our bestie the make-up artist, primping and preening.  My feet were so swollen and sore from getting around the arena I didn’t know how I would get into shoes, let alone those platform heels.  That was when I met my best pregnancy friend – MATERNITY SPANX.  Those things saved me!  It was unreal.  If you’re pregnant, go buy them, like now!  Plus they helped hide all the cookies I stole from craft services all day.

So as I tune into the show tonight, I think of my best Grammy memory.  We made it a bit of a tradition for our little Grammy team to hightail it before the show ended, ahead of the stadium traffic and hit the In-N-Out Burger on Sunset.   A pile of animal style cheeseburgers, fries and strawberry shakes were a great way to end a great day (and give us a base for great night – after parties!).  Now pass me another pair of Spanx!In-N-Out

In-N-Out