Dec 19

Its Beginning to Look a lot Like…

The Christmas decorations in the hotel on my last trip kept reminding me of my shortcomings as a gift giver...

The Christmas decorations in the hotel on my last trip kept reminding me of my shortcomings as a gift giver…

Yes, yes it is.  The most wonderful time of the year.  Unless you’re someone’s mom.  Then its a little less wonderful and whole lot more manic.

I was organized this year.  With all the time on the road, I buckled down one free Saturday and did all the Christmas shopping in one shot.  Ordered the out of town gifts online so they shipped directly.  Sorted out the Shorties.  Organized.  Awesome.  Now we’re a week away from the big day and I’m starting to second guess.  Its like when you make a record and it takes 6 months for the label to release it, you start to worry.  Will it be ok?  Will they like it?  Is it enough?  So now I’m in that manic panic of running around from store to store coming out empty handed.  I know I shouldn’t worry.  Three weeks ago I was on top of the world, doing the Rocky run around the house, fists pumping; “I’m done!!!”  What happened between then and now that I am second guessing every gift I bought.  Seriously?  What’s my problem?

Aside from my own psychotic need to please people and make everyone’s holiday perfect, I’m also now deep in the throes of the hostess gift.  Stocking the right amount of gifts to give to those kind enough to invite all 4 of us over for some holiday cheer.  When you have toddlers, the hostess gift better be good to make up for the pomegranate juice spilled on the white carpet or Shorty #1 single handedly tearing off the fireplace door (this actually happened…).  Maybe a gift certificate for a maid service?  Or a free post-holiday/ visit by us carpet cleaning?  These are good ideas for next year.

I know I shouldn’t be so hard on myself and to be honest, this year I’ve taken a bit of a chill pill.  There’s no lights on the outside of the house and save for the stockings being hung by the chimney with care, the inside Christmas decor is kept to a minimum.  Maybe I’ll even live up to my annual vow to “not go overboard this year.”  So if you’re on my list, I apologize in advance if you hate it or if you think I cheaped out.  Its all about the presence, not the presents – right?

Happy holidays.  xoxo

Dec 16

Blurred Lines

I’m home!  I’m home, I’m home, I’m home.  I am so f#%@ing happy to be home, I can’t even tell you.  This last trip was 10 days, not too bad.  But the break between trips was just a week, so it felt waaaay longer than normal.

Its strange to come home after such a long and intense roadtrip.  Life on the road is a little manic.  You spend all your time with a bunch of people that become your family in a way.  This little unit of people traversing across the country (or the world!) experiencing all kinds of madness and chaos along the way in the hyper microcosm that is entertainment business.  People catering to your every need.  Successes earned.   Surreal moments experienced.  Calls home are tough, brief and don’t cover the half of the stuff that’s gone on…

Shorty #2 is happy I'm home...

Shorty #2 is happy I’m home…

The next thing you know you’re walking in your front door, to the family waiting within.  All smiles and kisses and hugs. This is where you experience The Blurred Lines of your life – the reality of life on the road and life at home.  The difference between room service and the empty fridge, feather beds and snotty sheets, car service and the gas station.  Life on the road can be plush.  Life at home can be tough.  Maybe the lines aren’t so blurred after all.  What time is our dinner reservation becomes do we have any cans of soup in the cupboard?  Can housekeeping collect the laundry becomes holy sh&%, how can two kids create so much laundry?  Oh, there’s George Clooney at the bar becomes there’s my neighbor taking up 2 parking spots again.

If you’ve been following the R&R Mom, you’ve heard me prattle on about this before.  I love coming back to the reality that is home.  But it always takes a couple of days to get back into the swing and not expect the maid to make my bed.  Some other road warriors I know call it their grumpy time.  It really is a readjustment.  For me, its trying to slow down to the pace of everyday life rather than the protracted 18 hour work day that the road can be.  The first day I’m home, people expect me to be tired; “You don’t want to meet for lunch when you’re just getting home!”  Quite the contrary, just try and stop me.  Poor J – I’m like ” Lets go here and here and here and HERE and then when we get home lets do this and this and THIS.”  Day 2 on the other hand and I’m crashing.  Can’t stay up past 8pm.  That is NOT a very rock and roll bedtime.

So here I am back in the land of poopy diapers and grocery lists, happy for a little reality check.  Counting the days until the next trip (5) but this time for vacation with the shorties!

Dec 11

Heartbreak Hotel

I stay in hotels a lot.  All kinds of hotels running the spectrum of number of stars.  In my opinion that makes me kind of an expert on what makes a hotel awesome (or more likely, not so awesome).  The real question is – when is anyone going to ask me my opinion?  Probably never.  But, guess what?  That’s why God invented Blogs, so people like me can blab away with their opinion, especially on the bad things hotels offer to cause the travel heartbreak.  Right?

#2 - Hotel Guest

#2 – Hotel Guest

So here goes, my top ten tips to hoteliers on what they need to do to make their hotel awesome….

1. Hooks – I hate hanging my clothes in a hotel closet.  Especially when I’m only there for like 12 hours total.  A hook or two by the door would be awesome!

2. WiFi – hotel wifi has come a long way from the days of the dreaded firewall that blocked email and other such shenanigans.  But man, why does it still cost $35 a day.  The sound of the words Free WiFi is like a choir of angels singing…

3. Counter Space in the Bathroom – What’s with this?  People travelling – especially girls – are carrying toiletries and cosmetics.  Why is counter space always an issue in a hotel?  Big sinks, fancy tissue holders, soap dishes.  I need space for my stuff so if you’re not going to give me drawers in the bathroom, then how about a little counter space.  Same applies for shelf space in the shower.

… and speaking of showers….

4. Rain Showers – I HATE these shower heads.  They are a pain in the ass especially when you’re having a non-hairwashing day.  HATE.  Its true.

5. Mini Bars – Ok, I kinda like mini-bars sometimes but lately I keep encountering an empty fridge in lieu of the stocked mini-bar.  I rarely dip in and sometimes like to self cater a little, so finding middle ground here would be awesome.  A little bottled water (still and sparkling if you don’t mind), coconut water and maybe some booze, but leave a little space for some of my own snacks.  How about that?

6. Slippers.  Barefeet in a hotel room = EUW.  Slippers = Yes please!

7. Amenities – I’m all for the boutique brands for the bathroom amenities.  Love them.  But FORGET it if they contain anything rose scented.  Seriously, the perfumey products are a bad idea.  PLUS, I haven’t met a dude yet that wants to use gardenia scented shampoo.  Keep it simple.  Clean, mild scents are a much better way to go.

8. The Hotel Car – Who gets to use it?  What’s the point?  Yes, I see your Bentley parked out front, but if the chances of me using it are nil, then get it out of my face.

9. Breakfast – Make it available.  Make it good.  Make it quick.  Doesn’t have to be free but highway robbery would be frowned upon.

10. Music – Don’t forget, I work in the music business so I appreciate the ambiance that comes with music.  However, I am not down with an elevator that could double as a disco (I’m looking at you W Hotel in Hong Kong) or walking into the room to a full frontal assault of horrible smooth jazz courtesy of the turn down service.  Neither are probably necessary, like at all.

So there it is.  I won’t charge for my consulting services on such matters.  Just upgrade me next time I’m through.

XO

Nov 26

Um… Euw…

vectorstock_102612I was at the check out at Whole Foods last night unpacking the cart.  I could feel eyes on me from all sides.  Most notably from the new mom ahead of  me in the line.  She was peeking over the downy head of her little one, nestled in his carrier.  She wore the look of terror when and quickly moved her had to the top of her son’s head.  I was unpacking piles of Lice Off.  Oh yes!  This is the equivalent of the Mom Walk of Shame.

Poor #1.  She started skating lessons through school, which she loves.  We sent her in with a bike helmet to wear on the ice but unbeknownst to us – this was not okay and they made her wear one of the arena issued hockey helmets which was clearly home to some… critters.

We have dodged the lice bullet a bunch of times.  Any time we received the notice home that lice was in the classroom we mobilized the troops into a diligent routine of hair combing, spraying, braiding and googling for anything new that might repel the little buggers.  But not this time, no – we were completely caught off guard.  So when we discovered poor Shorty itching away and the little stowaways that had set up camp in her long locks, we packed off to Whole Foods to buy as many remedies as we could get our hands on.

We’ll file this under the “Never A Dull Moment” of parenting.  We discovered Shorty’s infestation at 7pm on Sunday night.  I was just home from a 10 day trip overseas and was crazy jet-lagged.  J and I moved into hyperdrive – changing sheets, bagging stuffed toys, running pillows through the dryer, combing everyone to see who else might be subjected to this brand of horror.  Fun times.  By 10:30pm, we fell into bed scratching psychosomatically.  The good news is that so far (touch wood), poor #1 is the only victim of the dreaded louse!

Back to the Walk of Shame.  I remember being that Mom, watching another Mom unloading the goods.  Judging, worrying that I (or worse my kids) would be infested simply by proximity.  Now, I know better and will be sure to share some sympathy for my harried counterpart who is heading into the trenches of lice eradication.  Be vigilant my friends, because you too can fall prey to these tiny vermin!

For more information about Head Lice Treatment and Prevention visit Health Link BC.

 

Nov 21

Life on the Road

I’m writing to you today from Kowloon, overlooking Victoria Harbour with the Hong Kong skyline as the perfect backdrop.  I’ve been on the road for over a week now on an around the world tour it seems.  Started in Vancouver, stopped in London for 4 days and am now in Hong Kong before I head home in just two more sleeps!

Life on the road is a very interesting parallel universe.  You can get used to the cushy treatment and rockstar amenities.  But its certainly a little weird.  Sure, its definitely glamorous jetting into a world class city and being whisked into fantastic hotels with local hosts striving to keep you happy.  The truth is that running around this alternate reality has its downside – especially as the traveling Mom.  I hear all your eyes rolling all the way over here in Asia.  “wahhhh poor you, R&R Mom.”  I recognize that this is a very ass-y thing to say.  I GET it!!!  Believe me, I am exceedingly grateful for all these incredible chances to see this amazing world and work withs some fantastic people along the way.  But being away from the Shorties and J is gut wrenching.

Thank Steve Jobs for FaceTime.  It makes it so much easier to be able to lay eyes on my loves.  Its no substitute for cuddles but being able to see each other is a godsend no matter how long the trip.  But time zones are a killer.  Inevitably, the moment I’m free for a chat its bath/ bed/ meal time at home so my call only adds to the chaos.  Not to mention the great fun of FaceTiming with little shorties who are far more interested in how they look in the picture.  They are like miniature Paris Hilton’s only rather than preening at their own image are zooming in on their eyeballs, sharing the half-chewed pizza in their mouths or shaking their butts at the camera (well, I guess this last one Paris Hilton would do too).

And forget about actually catching up with your partner on the call.  These little narcissists hold a tight grip on the technology, monopolizing the conversation with silly noises, singing and quite often burps.  Mom & Dad are NOT getting a word in edgewise.  You’re lucky to have a quiet second to get through the necessary day to day business of the household (did you remember that today is garbage day?) let alone actually sharing an intimate moment or at the VERY least “how are you doing”.

Miss this guy!

Miss this guy!

These are hard moments.  When hearts ache to connect with the loves and it just can’t happen.  So back we go into the isolation of the dark, too cold (or too hot) hotel room to bury yourself in emails and work mode.  Whether its a 2 day trip or 2 week trip this happens and it just is what it is.

The good news is that I can start counting the hours when I’ll see those bright little faces (and a bright bigger face) at the arrivals area in the airport and can go back to the real world.  Changing diapers, wiping noses and cozy snuggles.  I would take that over a 5 star hotel any day!

... and these two too.

… and these two too.

Nov 4

I’m Baaaaack!

Um, no thanks...

Um, no thanks…

Oh, hi.  Yeah, its been a while.  With heartfelt apologies, the past 6 weeks have been something of a blur.  In no particular order I have traveled to LA, London, Oslo, Lisbon, Amsterdam (well just a layover), NY (twice) and Toronto.  I have also moved house and juggled a two week span in which our poor Nanny was off sick.  I have successfully navigated the past six weeks WITHOUT suffering a nervous breakdown.  Almost, but not quite.  WINNING!!!!

The craziness is set to continue for a while longer but you’ll get no complaints here.  Sure, I am leaving my toiletry bag packed and my lipstick lives in a ziploc bag in my purse these days – but how can I complain?  Its been great fun following the Foxes around the world (PS – if you know what they say then mission accomplished).  The biggest downside is being away from my own little Foxes (and Mr. Fox of course), but they seem to be enjoying the Daddy time and steady stream of guilt driven toys brought home as souvenirs.

Sure, I feel the judgmental glares from the Supermoms.  I am conspicuous in my absence.  But I keep reminding myself that this much hectic business travel is (a) temporary, (b) fun and (c) ultimately good for everyone in our house.  Luckily, they are all Fox fans so they don’t seem to mind me going off to fight for the cause.

These days we are most grateful for our Moms, Sisters, grocery delivery and the deep freeze.  After a recent whirlwind promo trip with 18 hour press days, I came home with so much adrenaline pumping I couldn’t stop.  In addition to the several loads of laundry, we cooked pots of stew and pasta sauce to freeze for J to easily whip up for les petites for the next time I would be on the road.  Why won’t anyone in this house eat a casserole?  The perfect meal in one pan… if only they weren’t so gross!

The thing when you’re on the road this much is you start to forget where you are.  Beyond just the middle of the night wake-up – this happened in the airport the other day.  For a fleeting moment, I couldn’t remember where I was going!  I need an app that will remind me of my hotel room number.  Never mind jetlag – no time for that!  That’s why I invested in the YSL Touche Eclat to make me look much less sleep deprived than I actually am.

The next few months promise a continually hectic schedule, so I hope to be able to post as much as I can.  But in the meantime, its freezer filling, touche eclat wearing, ziploc bag toting time!  Who can complain about that?

Sep 24

What the Fox!

Hi!  I wanted to apologize for the long stretch of radio silence.  Looks like it will be a little while before I can get back to posting as I’d like.  A little career fun is adding to the chaos and I’m working around the clock.  I promise to get back to posting once the dust settles.

xoxoxo

Something every busy working woman needs. A place to put your phone when you pee....

Something every busy working woman needs. A place to put your phone when you pee….

Sep 14

Dear Shorty #2

Sleepyhead

Sleepyhead

Dear #2:

Its amazing to me how big you are getting.  You seem to be growing up so quickly.  While we’re on the subject of maturing, could you do me a favor and speed through this thing called sleep regression?  I’m a little wiped out already, but the 2am – 3am wake-up every night is getting a little old and frankly its not doing either of us any favors.  Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE the middle of the night cuddles.  Its the early morning toes digging in my back and elbows in my face that I can do without.

Could you work on the whole “sleeping through the night thing” again so we both can make it through the day?  You see, you’re the lucky one.  You can shut it down for naptime by 11:30am, but I on the other hand am a little busy working for a living to keep a roof over our heads and its somewhat frowned upon in our office for employees to pass out at their desks.

Soooo, if you could work on this for me I’d really appreciate it.  If you can swing it, we’ll be sure to take this into consideration in about 13 years when you’re looking for a later curfew, a raise in your allowance or some new fangled personal electronic device that hasn’t been invented yet.

Thanks in advance for your assistance with this matter.

Love,

Mama

Sep 11

I Aim to Please… Maybe Not So Much Anymore

As you may have gathered by my previous posts, I’m a type-A personality.  I’m also one of those people that’s a pleaser.  I don’t like to inconvenience people and prefer to make things easier for them.  I can’t help it.  I’m actually a horrible spa client as I spend most of the time trying to contort my body into the exact position I think the therapist or esthetician might need.  I mean, I drive manicurists crazy with my stiff knuckles.  Seriously, I’ve been scolded by massage therapists constantly “Can you please relax your arm?”

Its the same with doctors.  I hate to inconvenience an already busy doctor’s office or emergency room with our little case.  I carry that deference to the medical profession that my parents generation had when the doc was always right.  But little by little I’m starting to feel a change as my Type-A is beating out my Aim to Please gene.

This change probably started with pregnancy.  All of a sudden it wasn’t just my own health I was worrying about, it was the Shorties.  The Mama Bear instinct takes over and all of a sudden the infallible Doc that’s only half concentrating on the issue is in my sights.  The health and safety of the Shorties trumps everything else.

Poor Shorty #1 has had a couple of strange allergic reactions, so we were packed off to see an Allergist yesterday.  Luckily, I read the reviews for the doctor and was somewhat prepared for a potentially confrontational visit.  #1 is TERRIFIED of needles.  I mean, she is apoplectic when she sees them.  Anyone who has visited an allergist will sympathize then with the pin-cushion like experience that can happen when being tested for allergies.  She was beside herself when she realized what was about to take place.

The “nurse” was no help.  She tried to mitigate the fear by explaining to Shorty that there would only be 5 pokes.  I finally convinced her that this was a must-do and there was definitely a treat waiting on the finish line.  She sat her 4 foot plus frame on my lap and the nurse started the pokes up each arm.  As she attempted the 6th, Shorty who was carefully counting flipped out.  She very nearly kicked the nurse in the chin.  I thought of apologizing to this total b%^&# but decided not to.  We both sold #1 on 5 needles and she was changing the plan on the fly.  I decided that this was now her problem and suggested maybe next time she should give kids a little more credit and tell the truth.

Now enter the Doctor.  With piles of diplomas and certificates lining the walls heralding his status as a pediatrician and allergist, he came in with an abysmal bedside manner.  Poor Shorty was now itching like mad, allergic reactions abounding from the test.  He gruffly came and grabbed her hand.  When she flinched, he admonished her telling her to “calm down”.  Excellent.  Now I was ready to kick HIM in the chin.  Seriously, why doesn’t he get it?  He must do this all day, every day.

When he told me that Shorty’s reaction to tree nuts was anaphylactic, I was shocked.  I said “really?”.  His condesendingly replied “Well yes!  can’t you see the reaction.  It was 10 blah blahs in a dilution of blah blah blah blah.”  DUDE, you just told me that if my kid eats a cashew she could possibly DIE.  Can you have a heart for two seconds and stop being a f%^&ing scientist?

Now here’s where I pupped out and didn’t actually say this to Dr. Dickhead.  But next time I may not be so civilized and nod and acquiesce and be too afraid to ask questions.  Next time I’ll stand up to that self-righteous ass and ask him to treat me AND Shorty with the respect we deserve as human beings who have come to him for some help.  I hope you will too.

 

Sep 4

The Most Awful Time of the Year

Shorty #1 selects some Coachella inspired headgear for her first day back to school.

Shorty #1 selects some Coachella inspired headgear for her first day back to school.

Labor Day.  Ugh.  What a crummy holiday.  A holiday that celebrates labor should have better name.  Labor and Holiday – bit of an oxymoron, isn’t it?  Holiday Day would be so much better.

My disdain for Labor Day is really more about the meaning of this date on the calendar; end of summer, back to school, no more white pants (and I just got a great pair of white CoH jeans on sale!).  I hate holidays that signal the end of something like New Years Eve or even Sunday Evenings.  Yes yes yes, I hear all you positive, glass is half full, lemonade drinkers out there.  These endings all herald in a new beginning – a new week, a new grade a new year, an opportunity for a fresh start.  Sure, this is true but sometimes we aren’t ready for things to end.

I spent my Labor Day tidying out closets and bedrooms, writing names in labels and packing school bags to get everyone ready to go back to the daily routine of school days.  The sleepy whining, lunch packing and frantic nagging all working towards a crescendo as the clock ticks faster and faster to 9am.  I envy those Moms arriving at the school well before the bell rings, calm and peaceful.  Have they given their kids a Xanax as they woke up and lead them in a drug induced stupor to the classroom door?  I’m sure they haven’t but c’mon, what’s the secret?  I’m usually speed walking through the halls, hair wet and a conference call waiting, all the while encouraging (read: speaking firmly… ok, yelling) Shorty #1 to speed it up.

This is always the most amazing thing to me each morning.  Why is it always such a surprise that we need to eat breakfast, put on shoes (really!) and remember school bags before we head out the door?  Like we don’t need to do these things EVERY morning.  Like the routine is COMPLETELY DIFFERENT every day?  Really?  No seriously, really?

As Labor Day heralds in the new school year with all the promise of a bright future, with young shining faces eager to embrace learning, this Mother secretly cries for the lost summer and morning routines that included cartoons in bed!