Doctor Doctor Give Me The News…

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Shorty #2 around 6 months.

Being a parent is probably one of the most terrifying jobs I have ever had (and that includes cocktail waitressing in a dance club).  I thought pregnancy was scary – but for a chronic worrier like me – parenting can be a white-knuckle ride.

For the most part, day to day things can be very easy and calm but when things start to get hairy, look out!  Suddenly one of the shorties tumbles off a chair and develops an immediate goose egg on their forehead.  Or inexplicably, out of the blue a strange rash envelops their little body with absolutely no warning.  Or how about the random limp that comes out of nowhere.

Off to the emergency room for that harrowing ride and even more harrowing wait in the germ filled space.  Much like a petting zoos and butcher shops, emergency rooms is one of the most horrifying places for a germaphobe like me!  Don’t forget to bring the Purell!

We have been incredibly fortunate with our kids that they have been healthy and the little scares have been easily diagnosed and quickly treated.  So count me extremely grateful for that.  Rather, I like to share these moments for the comedic value one might find in laughing at me trying to cope with the situation.

One of my better emergency room stories was with Shorty # 2.  After a rather tumultuous couple of weeks with multiple visits to emerg and a diagnosis of a bone condition in Shorty #1 (that was easily treated and quickly resolved – thank GOD!) we were ready for a little quiet time.  We were on an outing to Science World and #2 needed a diaper change.  Mid-change we discovered many tiny red and blue dots all over her legs.  That was a new one on me and looked concerning enough that we packed off to the walk-in clinic.

It was January – so busy cold and flu season and the wait at the clinic was creeping past the two hour mark.  When J arrived, we talked it over.  We could wait the two plus hours only to be told this was too weird and be sent to Children’s Hospital for another 3+ hour wait.  So I did what any other worried parent would do – I asked Dr. Google.  I typed in red and blue dots – guess what came up… MENINGITIS.  Basically the website said if your child presents with this symptom to head straight for emergency.  So we did.

The triage nurse reassured me after I apologized for coming in (for the record, I always apologize to the triage nurse since our afflictions seem so minor compared to others and I hate to be the person burdening an already over-extended medical system for some frivolous reason. I also apologize to massage therapists for putting my arm in the wrong place and I always thank a doorman for holding the door.  I’m Canadian, what can I say?).  She said I had done the right thing, steering us to the waiting room.  Moments later, I knew she was right when our name was called and we were ushered into QUARANTINE!

That’s when I started to really worry.

In minutes a doctor was at our door arriving before the nurse.  I worried more.  She examined little #2 and explained that yes, it could be meningitis and if it was we would know very quickly as other symptoms would soon follow this strange rash if she was infected.

I was about to panic.

In came the nurse to hook her up to the machines – heart monitors etc.  She checked her vitals and ordered blood work.

Shorty #2 in the Emergency Room

Shorty #2 in the Emergency Room

I looked at J – while I can worry myself silly in these moments, I usually try to hold it together for the sake of the Shorties.  This time he could see that I was starting to come a bit unglued.

Shorty #2 was doing great.  She was thrilled with the attention and particularly liked the cartoons they brought to help pass the time.

After about 3 hours of waiting, with #2 smiling, playing and even napping happily, the Doctor came back for what would be her final visit…

Now, #2 was rather chubby back then in her pre-crawling days.  I think she was about 35th percentile for height and about 85th for weight.  So a little bit round I guess you could say.

Turns out Shorty had a simple case of broken blood vessels.  You see, on our outing that day, I had carried her around Science World in the sling.  This constricted her legs a little bit and caused some blood vessels to break.  “Yes,” the Doctor said, “we often see this with babies of this…stature.”

So in this case, the morale was – better to be safe than sorry and this Mama was nothing but purely relieved and grateful to be headed home with a healthy and happy – albeit chubby – Shorty #2.

The Stand-Off

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Shorty #2 on the Time Out step.

Shorty #2 is only mere-months away from the dreaded terrible twos.  She’s always been strong-willed and lets say a bit naughty for lack of a better description.  A little mischievous perhaps.  Well, she’s taken to throwing her plate, food, cup etc when she’s unhappy with the progress of a meal.  Yes, Shorty #2 has always been a big fan of mealtime but lately when she wants to cut out of dinner early in favour of dessert she will sort of lose it.  J and I, while not huge disciplinarians – have to nip these shenanigans in the bud.  So we have resurrected the TIME OUT.

There are many schools of thought on the Time Out, but its worked pretty well in our house.  A little break on the step while we talk about what went wrong and what led to the mac and cheese hitting the ceiling.

Here’s how it went down.  Shorty #2 was done with her dinner and decided to throw her plate of chicken and rice across the room like it was a Frisbee.  “No thank you!” we cried.  “That’s not what we do with our plate!”  The tears began to flow and little #2 was ushered to the step for her first Time Out.

We sat down with her and explained again how this is “not what we do” blah blah blah.  She looked us in the eye penitent so we asked her “Are you ready to say sorry?”  She looked up, eyes glassy with tears and slowly but deliberately shook her head “no”.  Yep, Shorty #2 doesn’t ever say much – but she clearly knows how to say no.  So we sat her down again and explained that she couldn’t get up and finish the meal until she apologized.

Many minutes went by with wailing tears and foot stamping – we asked her again “Are you ready to say sorry?”  Again, she shook her head  “no”.  Now we were getting dangerously close to bed time and she wouldn’t give in.  I could not believe Shorty #2 could be this stubborn and that she would stay on the step for this long.

What do we do?  We CANNOT give in – if we do we’re done for.  It’ll be like Lord of the Flies and Shorties will rule the house!  So we sit her back down and try to ignore the ensuing tantrum, every now and again asking if she’s ready to apologize and always the same response – “no”.

Finally, a brain wave.  “Ok little one, if you are not able to say ‘sorry’ to Mama & Dada, maybe you can give us a kiss and hug instead.  She relented a little and gave me a hug.  “How about a kiss?”  She shook her head again!  But after a little more prompting, she at last gave in.

All forgiven, we returned to the table so she could finish her meal.  She sat in her high chair chomping away.  I asked her ” Can you say ‘sorry’?”  She looked me straight in the eye and said “Sorry”  then she sang it “Sooooorrrryyyy” chanting it over and over again.

Who knew that our kid was the David Geffen of time out negotiations!  She wasn’t prepared to give it all up, but she gave in a little so we felt like we were getting what we wanted.  In the end, she holds all the power.  Ack!  Don’t kid yourself, the kids will always rule the house.

A New Year

Every December 31, we join with friends, family, loved ones and plan a fresh start for the New Year.  Lose weight, break bad habits, create good habits, make some sort of change.  The trick to all of this is how we feel on January 31.

Like many new mom’s my list is not all that inventive – lose that last 10 lbs of baby weight, eat better, exercise, spend more time on educational pursuits with the kids etc.  Its funny though how in this process I seem to have found another resolution for 2013 – to rediscover me.

The past 7 years have been incredible – the arrival of two shorties has made our family a home.  We are blessed by these two little ones that amaze us with personality traits so like our own yet personas so clearly unique.  Over the past 7 years, my career has grown by leaps and bounds and I am grateful for the opportunities and experiences I’ve had in this time – lots of good, some bad but a bucket load of learning.  The only concern is that juggling 2 kids, a home and a blossoming career can be a feat!  Managing the time for all of this means the things I like to do in my spare time have fallen by the wayside.

Cue the eye roll for all other Mom’s out there.  I know, I know – wah wah wah.  ALL Mom’s without exception face this no matter what.  Life changes after kids, no doubt about it.  So this is not a complaint but more a realization of how much simple pleasure I was able to get from a yoga class or a date night on the mountain skiing with my Love.

As laying in reclined mountain pose in said yoga class, it hit me.  My demanding career and busy family life is a priority – but making some time for these little things for me can actually make me a better Mom, Manager, Momager.

Revolutionary thinking this is not, I realize.  But it is revolutionary for me.  So away we go with the intention that the resolutions of 2013 including the most recent addition to the list become the norm.